Her Darkest Hour
by Writing4YourLove
Summary: She stops for half a second, breath catching in her throat, chest tightening in fear. Her breath comes in short, fast little pants as she stares into his eyes. He sees her, she knows he has. He's looking right at her. A scream is rising in her throat, but she swallows it back. Can't be him, it can't be, it's impossible. She tells herself, but it is him.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey there everybody, thank you for selecting my story to read. I hope you enjoy and tell me how much (or how little, I guess) that you like it in a review. Hope you all enjoy!**

** - Writing4YourLove**

"Lavinia, come on down here," Her mother calls from the living room and she stops drawing the picture of the astronaut cat to go down the steep stairs, gripping the railing that is at least three inches taller than her as she pads downstairs on sock-clad feet. She slips on one of the stairs, but recovers three steps from the bottom. She looks around, smiling, wondering if anyone just saw that. She laughs; the reason unknown to her six-year-old mind. She's not hurt, maybe that's why, but it doesn't matter. She stands and runs down the rest of the stairs and into the living room, a feeling of invincibility overwhelming her.

She runs in and sits in the big, puffy armchair close to the lit fireplace. The fire flickers in a dance of happiness and joy. _Is it happy, _she wonders, _because it's cold and white outside? _ The thought may not make sense to an adult – her parents sure don't seem to understand her fascination with the smallest details of everyday life – but they make perfect sense to her. _Do fires ever want to be cold?_

Her dad and little five-year-old brother sit in the room too. Her dad's on the couch next to her mom and her little brother is between them. It feels too . . . scary in the room for them to playing a board game like they do sometimes. Or any game. So why did her mom call her? She brushes the feeling away, knowing in her heart that nothing bad will happen. It never has, so it never will. This is, after all, the comforting logic she follows. If something unhappy hasn't happened, it probably won't.

She looks to her mom for a reason for the unhappiness. Her mom smiles, but it's a not-right smile. It confuses her, so she looks to her dad. "We need to talk to you about something." He says and she recognizes his tone. It's like the one he used when he told them the injured bird Lavinia found in the forest had died. Gentle, explaining something he knows they won't understand and they don't.

Their parents know the children could never fathom the horrors of the Hunger Games, the confusion behind their relationship. How do you explain something so terrible you don't even know how another person could do such a thing? Katniss has no idea how she could explain such things to her children, but it has to be be done. Soon her precious daughter will be learning about the Hunger Games in school – her daughter's already learned the basics of the rules and excuses soon they'll tell about separate Games, and her past. She'd rather they tell their children instead of having them read about their parents crimes in a textbook where they could so easily misinterpret the information their given. This way, they can answer the questions, because they know there will be questions.

Katniss takes over; watching her children carefully as she considers what she should say. How could she even begin? "A long, long time ago, before the Hunger Games stopped, when your father and I were just teenagers, my little sister was picked for the Hunger Games, but I volunteered to go in for her because I didn't want her to. Your father was also reaped and that's actually how we met."

Confused, Lavinia looks from her dad to her mom, "I thought only one could leave the Hunger Games."

"That's quite a long story." Peeta announces.

"Tell it," His son demands.

He hesitates, looking at Katniss for a moment, waiting for her to simply tell them there's not enough time or something else, but she doesn't. She nods for him to go on. "The Hunger Games we were in was the seventy-fourth. Even then, even though we barely knew each other, I still loved your mother very much. When we were in the Arena, we were the last two. We refused to kill each other so they had to let both of us win, but they weren't happy with that."

Lavinia still looks confused, "Why not? I mean, it's good when the princess and prince live happy forever after."

For a second he doesn't know what to say. His daughter's logic wasn't necessarily flawed, but fairy tales aren't real life. "They were like the evil step-mother of this story. They didn't want us together because we broke the rules of their Games." She accepts this somewhat, not completely satisfied. He knows she wants a happy ending. "Then the next year, we were picked for the Hunger Games again because that year they chose people who had won before. But the good guys got us out and your mother helped end the Hunger Games."

His daughter smiles again. "And then you guys got married and then got us and now we all live happy forever after?"

He smiles, "Yeah, now we all live happily ever after." Then he looks to his wife and she gives him a small smile before he kisses her lightly and repeats, "Happily ever after."

About a week after her parents told her of their Hunger Games, a new family moved to District Twelve. That on its own isn't strange, but what was odd was that they moved into the Justice Building with the Mayor. And that's not even all. The very next day a lady with a big, pink wig comes over and talks to Lavinia's mom for a long time. She doesn't understand what they're talking about, but her dad says it's about politics - that thing where people tell half-truths to get what they want. But why would her mom want to talk to the strange lady about politics?

Peeta watches as Titan and Lavinia color pictures of who-knows-what, wondering just how much longer they have until everything he and Katniss have worked to build – the safety and security of their children, the certainty that they won't have to go through what their parents did – comes crashing down. He knows it will. The president moving her daughter and grandson to this District with so many more Peacekeepers was a sign that something was happening.

Katniss was in the kitchen, talking with Effie Trinket who only recently showed up again. "Their probably going to begin the Hunger Games again," Effie says worriedly, "They've already got most of an Arena up."

"How much longer do we have?" Katniss asks softly, trying to make sure her children can't hear her.

Effie shakes her head, "Not long; a couple of years at the least."

Katniss doesn't respond, instead she drops her head into her hands and wonders for the first time why she ever agreed to have children.

When Effie leaves late in the afternoon, Peeta and Katniss go into their room to talk in private about what Effie had said. They both know if the Hunger Games start again, there is a chance Titan or Lavinia could be reaped. They may even be picked directly for it if the Capitol really wants revenge on Katniss.

Upstairs in her room, Lavinia still doesn't know what's going on. She hopes against hope that things could be normal from now on for her and her family. But, although she doesn't realize it, things would only get worse.

That night at dinner, her mother told her never to talk to the child who'd moved into the Justice Building. And maybe that's what lead her to speak with the boy in her year in school the next day and agree to meet him in a small clearing in the woods where they'd talk most of the night and only when dawn had almost come, agree to meet there again the next night when their parents and siblings were asleep and go home to their own families.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'd like to say first that I am very to thankful to all who have read the first chapter of this and have come back for more. I would love it if you'd please review in addition to reading, though. This chapter is for my friend Fangirly who's been telling me to write something for her birthday and I finally have! I hope you all enjoy and review!**

_Ten years later . . ._

The president's grandson, Frost Delaney, waits. He's been waiting for ten minutes now, not that time matters to him as much this time of night. The time of night that he realizes his dreams and hopes for a future he knows will never come as he hopes it will. This is the time he has to pretend there are no Districts. When he's here, there's no hatred, no overbearing mother, no determined little sister, no classmates scorning him, and – most importantly – no fakes. Out here, in the forest, he can be who he wants to be. Here, he can be with her.

Where is she, anyways? She's supposed to be here. She's here every night. He doesn't dare call out to her in case someone may hear him. He glances around instead, but all the forest yields are the dim trees and bushes and grass beneath the light of the full moon - a blue moon. The first one he can remember and this one falls on his seventeenth birthday.

So what? She's a little late, but that's okay. Or is she not coming? It's a distinct possibility, but one he doesn't like to consider. She wouldn't do that to him, would she? She's shown most every day since they first met. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, recalling the way she smells like lavender, how her dark hair feels when he runs his fingers through it, and – most of all – how when he smiles, she always smiles back. He wants her to be his forever and to wake up to her lying next to him every morning.

That was when he felt soft lips against his own. He opens his eyes to see her in front of him. She kisses him again and wraps her arms around his neck while his go around her small waist. She opens her mouth and he licks along her upper lip. Then she pulls away, smiling, "Happy seventeenth birthday," she whispers, "So, what did you wish for?"

Now he smiles and kisses the top of her head. "If I tell you, it won't come true." And right now he really wishes it would. He'd wished that he could be with her for the rest of his life, but he doubts it would ever come true. He breathes in the sweet scent of her and smiles against the softness of her hair. He feels her shiver and pulls his jacket off before wrapping it around her shoulders. She pulls it the rest of the way on carefully.

"I got you a present." She says, pulling something out of her sweatshirt pocket. "Well, it's not really much, but I found this skeleton and I remembered you talking about how you collect the bones of dead animals and everything." He takes it gingerly from her and traces the curves carefully. "I'm pretty sure it's a cat skull."

He smiles, "Thank you, it's perfect and so are you." And he means it. He kisses her again. "I love you," He breathes.

"I love you too, but you know I need to go." She says softly. "I'll see you in a couple days, then." She pulls off his coat and hand it back to him.

"I'll see you in a couple of days." He repeats, and then gives her one last kiss before she turns around and walks away.

She hates it. Not him, she just hates how they can't be together for such a trivial reason as their parents disliking each other. So what if their fathers are enemies and their mothers jealous, why should that stop them from being together? She doesn't even know his parents so why should their lives entwine with her so securely?

The cat skull had belonged to her mother's old cat, which she'd had since before the Mockingjay Rebellion. The girl had dug it up like an excavator and then filled the hole in the ground back in, she knew it was wrong, but her mother wouldn't even notice it was missing.

Home isn't far away for her, just a few miles away, and she feels really bad about being late, but the honest truth was that her parents were up late tonight and she wasn't able to get out until late. She does like her family, but she doesn't want to live with them forever and, seeing that she's already sixteen, it's time for her to start thinking about the future.

She wants to get out of District Twelve and move somewhere – anywhere – else. She knows if she stays here she'll go mad. But where would she go? Granted, any District would be wealthier and safer than District Twelve, but she also grew up here. If she were ever to have children, would she want them growing up somewhere she doesn't know? Besides, the peacekeepers everywhere else are so much stricter than they are here.

That is what she tells herself, but the reality of the situation is that she'll go anywhere he does. She wants to have someone who will love her unconditionally, and he might be that person. She dearly hopes he is, that someday he'll bring her home and introduce her to his parents – even if they do hate her. She wants to know where he gets his brown eyes and his black hair. Who gave him his broad shoulders and strong hands, but raised him to wear his heart on his sleeve?

Maybe this is how life is supposed to be – at least for her. She wishes it weren't like this, but it is. But their relationship isn't totally doomed. If they make it until she's eighteen, they can elope. Get married even without their parent's permission. Until then, though, they need to avoid being caught.

She doesn't want to return home. Her parents have been fighting recently. They try to hide it and it hasn't really been bad, but it scares her. She doesn't want to listen to any more right now. Instead, she goes to the house next door which her father owns. He doesn't live in it because he lives with her mom, but it's still legally his. It's been his since he won the Hunger Games with her mother. Yes, the seventy-fourth Hunger Games brought them together, and the return of the Games will tear them apart.

Does this always happen to people who are in love? Does it always wear so thin after a certain number of years? Or was their love simply not strong enough to survive so long? What was it? What is the key to staying in love? This is something she's sure she'll never know and yet another reason she doesn't necessarily want to get married. But it's customary – at least here it is – that when a girl turns eighteen, she chooses a man from a group her parents have approved of to marry. She is certain she doesn't want this. But what does she want? Will it get clearer as time goes on, or will it be even more confusing?

She shakes away these thoughts and turns away from the locked door, going next door to her own home. Silently, she opens the door and on light feet steps up the stairs, skipping two she knew were squeaky and would give her away. When she reaches her room, she removes her boots, pants and sweatshirt before burying herself under the warm blankets on her bed. Just minutes later, her cat jumps up and snuggles into her side. It takes her only minutes to fall asleep, but during those minutes, her thoughts contain thoughts of the future. A happy future; one where she can be with the boy she loves and not have her parents unhappy with her. But would they really? Would they really be so mad if she explained it? If she explained exactly how much he means to her maybe they would let them be together.

But she knows that would be simply too easy. How does she know this? She knows this because – logically - nothing ever could be easy for the Mockingjay's daughter. She knows happily ever after will never come easily, not to her. It never could.


	3. Chapter 3

**I expected to post this yesterday, but I didn't have the time so I'm sorry, but it's up now. I expect to have the next chapter up by tomorrow (or maybe even later today). In addition to this, I'd like to say that this chapter is where darker themes start coming up. As I've said before - please review and I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I know I forgot to say this before, but I think we all know I don't own the Hunger Games.**

When she wakes the next morning, she wakes to complete and utter chaos, but not necessarily the bad kind. The rest of her family is all downstairs, cleaning and preparing the beginnings of a dinner to be served to at least a dozen people. _Is it really today? _She silently wonders to herself, knowing the answer already. _Yes._

Today is the day friends of her parents will be coming over for dinner. If she's completely honest, she'd say she despises the idea of the house filled with people she doesn't know. She's always been this way, though. Ever since she was six years old if her mother tells it right. She worries about the smallest things, but they seem so important in her mind.

But, no matter how she feels, the people will still show up and she'll still be expected to be on her best behavior. So she gets up and pulls on clothes before she goes downstairs to help her father bake a cake.

Katniss watches her daughter start to help Peeta mix the ingredients for the cake, moving gracefully around the island in the middle of the kitchen. She's proud of her daughter and, as much as she didn't want kids, she's loved watching her grow up, unmarred to this day by the Capitol. Lavinia doesn't remember what Katniss told her and her brother so many years ago, but they've both learned about the Hunger Games in school.

Suddenly, Lavinia stops, puts the mixing bowl down and runs downstairs with a sudden determination and single-mindedness that the girl still hasn't grown out of and, at this point, Katniss doubts Lavinia ever will. "Where do you think she went in such a hurry?" Peeta asks, smiling.

"I have no idea," Katniss admits. Just a few minutes later, Lavinia comes back up, her dark brown hair braided down her back and having changed into a deep green, long-sleeved shirt and a brown leather jacket, all tied off with hunting boots. "Where are you going?"

Just as Katniss asks, Titan runs down the stairs and narrowly avoids running over his sister who throws a look over her shoulder at him, "Hey, Vinny, leaving us already?" He asks, picking up and apple and cleaning it off with his shirttail.

His sister rolls her light blue eyes and looks at her mother. "I was just going to go out to the woods before people start showing up. I figured Clarice would like to hang out outside today" - Clarice being Lavinia's pet squirrel - "I also found a robin's nest and I want to sketch it so badly. Please, can I, mom?"

"If your father doesn't need any help." She says, looking to her husband who smiles.

"I'm sure I'll be fine." He says, "Just be careful."

Titan rolls his eyes. "That is sad," He sighs, "She can just bat those pretty little eyes and get whatever she wants." – He pitches his voice up into a girly falsetto – "'Oh, please may I go out to the woods? I'll be ever so good and trot around with the little birdies and play with my pretend boyfriend just like Snow White, singing to the birdies in the trees.'" Then he glares at his sister.

She smirks before putting on her most winning smile and batting her eyelashes. "Admit it, little brother, you're just jealous." She sighs, "I've got to go. C'ya guys later!" And she leaves on her high note, letting her smile drop.

For once in her life, Lavinia feels completely at peace with herself. Everything felt so normal - so normal that Lavinia let her guard down. That was her mistake. She hadn't even made in through the non-electrified-electric fence that protects the District from dog attacks and the other dangers the forest holds when a stranger – or someone she thought was a stranger – grabbed her shoulder and shoved her back against the wall.

The look in his grey eyes was feral and almost inhuman and his dark hair was wild, but he was dressed in fine clothes. Clothes that looked like something a rich person would wear. He looks over the girl in front of him. She looks just like her mother except her eyes. The eyes of the man he hated more than anyone else in the world. The man who stole Katniss Everdeen from him and turned her into Katniss Mellark, or did she keep her name? He can't remember the name of the girl in front of him, but he doesn't care. Did he ever even learn it in the first place? He brushes these thoughts away. He will finally get his revenge.

Lavinia tries screaming, but the sound is muffled by the strong hand covering her jaw. He pulls it back and punches her. Not high enough to give her a black eye, but plenty hard enough to break her nose. She doesn't scream again, but she fights for as long as she can. Instead, she closes her eyes and tries to ignore it, praying to a God she doesn't believe in that he won't kill her as she feels him touching her, his fingers running over her skin.

Back in the Mellark home, the rest of the family continues readying the house for the visitor's. Katniss always worries about Lavinia when she leaves her sight, but she knows her daughter will be safe. District Twelve may not be the safest place, but she knows most everybody and, besides, there aren't really any murders. When people die, it's generally due to hunger, a mine accident, or an illness. _Nothing to worry about, _she tells herself, but something feels wrong - very wrong. She almost tells Peeta about this odd premonition, but decides not to.

_It'll all be okay. _She assures herself, _everything will be okay. _After all, the biggest thing she really had to worry about was whether there would be enough food for all the guests.

But by the time twelve thirty rolled around and Lavinia still hadn't shown up, Titan and Peeta began to worry, too. Titan knew that, although his sister isn't exactly the most punctual girl in Panem, she was never _this_ late. A woman his mother told him was Effie Trinket is in the living room with a couple other people – Haymitch Abernathy and Johanna Mason, if he heard the names right – talking up a storm about things he doesn't exactly understand. _Must be some kind of inside jokes or something, _he figures, _they've known each other for a long time; their probably just catching up._

"Titan," His mother says from behind him, "Why don't you go try and find your sister? Bring her back here as soon as you can." Her voice is strained with worry; something he hasn't really heard on his mother is a long time. Normally he would argue and try to get somebody else to take care of it, but he doesn't. If his mother is this worried, there's probably a good reason.

He grabs his jacket and pulls on a pair of shoes before he goes out, his dog, Cerberus, running out in front of him before he could stop him. Instead of trying to get the dog back in the house, he let the dog follow, which he does, to the woods and under the fence. Titan starts to go to the usual clearing his sister and him always end up hunting around, but Cerberus has a different idea. He runs straight ahead in the direction of the lake his mother brought them to when she had free time, mostly in the summer.

It takes a while to get to the lake. It's pretty far so nobody goes there often, but it's beautiful and there a little cabin there. They go there whenever we need an escape. The lake's a refuge from whatever is going on in their lives. It's safe. Nobody knows it's here and nobody would ever find them here. Titan never expected to find his big sister sitting on the edge of the lake, staring into the water, the depth of her blue eyes deeper than the lake itself.

For a second, he just watches her, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs, her head resting on her knees. Cerberus runs right up to her and starts licking her face. She looks at the dog lethargically, then her eyes rise slowly to his and he can see that she's been crying. "Mom wants you home." Titan says carefully.

Her gaze drifts back to the lake, "Oh."

Without any further hesitation, he walks over and sits down next to his sister. "Mom is really worried about you." He looks at her again, trying to decipher whatever is going on with her. "You okay, Vinny?"

"No," she says softly and wipes her nose on her sleeve which has dried blood already on it. She closes her eyes, "I don't want to go home."

"Guests have already shown up, more probably now." He gets up, "Come on, we need to go. Where's the squirrel?"

She whimpers, burying her face into her arms, "Dead." Just then he spots the small mound of dirt next to the cabin with a makeshift cross stuck at the head of it. He feels his gut wrench and takes a deep breath. He knows how much that dumb squirrel meant to his sister. Having that thing die was probably like having a best friend die.

"What killed it- her?" He asks softly.

"I don't know who he was," She groans with an edge to her voice that tell him she believes the answer should have been obvious. Then she pulls her foot closer to her body and pulls herself up, ignoring the dog which is strange enough for her and then just walks past him in the direction of the District, taking the long way home that goes around the whole district and the hole in the fence is in the main town where the higher class live.

"What happened, anyways?" He asks softly.

Lavinia doesn't want to respond. She shoves her hands into her pockets and closes her eyes, making her way through the woods by memory until they open again after she debates with herself over whether or not it would be a good idea to tell him. Finally, only after another few minutes of walking, she responds, telling him about what happened. He's silent when she stops and she's okay with that. She honestly doesn't want to talk about it or think about it anymore.

They got home quickly enough and Lavinia goes straight up to her room and changed into a black, long-sleeved shirt and jeans, pulling on the same pair of boots again before taking a few minutes to make sure the bruise on her nose isn't going to be visible. When she opens the door Titan's right there, blocking her exit. "Listen, Fox," He breathes, using her middle name. He'd called her that until he could pronounce her first name. "I haven't told mom or dad yet. I get it if you don't want to bother them in the middle of" – he looks down at the gathering below from the balcony – "Whatever this is, but they need to know."

"Fynn," She uses his middle name automatically, too. "They can't know." He only looks at her and she closes her eyes. "They won the Hunger Games, mom was the _Mockingjay_. They've lived through so much with only each other to count on. I think I can live through this." But she's not that sure of herself. She wants to cry, but she won't. No more crying. Not in front of her parents or their guests or her brother. Her parents have worked too hard planning this for her to ruin it for them. This is the first time they've seen most of their friends since the Rebellion.

He can tell she doesn't believe her own words. "If you don't tell them by the time this" – he gestures to the people down below them – "dies down, I'll tell them. Got it?" She nods without speaking and he goes back downstairs, disappearing into the fray.


	4. Chapter 4

**Please review, they're like little Christmas presents for me. Thank you and please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: No, I did not receive rights to the Hunger Games for Christmas (In other words, as far as I know, rights still belong to Scholastic, Lions Gate Entertainment, and Suzanne Collins.)**

**- Writing4YourLove**

She walks carefully into the huge group of people, looking for her father. She doesn't know what she would ever tell him. Not with everything that's happened. She goes through the living room, hugging the walls, watching silently as everyone else laughs and jokes around with each other.

Then she sees that man's grey eyes. She stops for half a second, breath catching in her throat, chest tightening in fear. Her breath comes in short, fast little pants as she stares into his eyes. He sees her, she knows he has. He's looking right at her. A scream is rising in her throat, but she swallows it back. _Can't be him, it can't be, it's impossible. _She tells herself, but it is him.

Her mother must've spotted her because from a different part of the room, she's calling Lavinia. She ignores it and retreats into the kitchen, falling into one of the old chairs at the old table in the center of the room. She stares down at the grain of the wood on the table as she works to slow her breathing, holding her head in her hands.

Only her father's voice pierces her concentration. "Lavinia, are you okay? Your mother's looking for you."

She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "Not really," She's not able to lie to her father, he'd know. Or find out.

Peeta may not know as much as he'd like to about his daughter, but he knows enough – from the Hunger Games and the Rebellion - to understand what fear looks like. "You want to talk about it?"

She glances over her shoulder, into the other room. "I don't like him." She says evenly and he tries to follow her gaze. Still, he's uncertain as to who it is. She seems to understand this, from one factor or another, because she continues, "The one talking to the brown-haired woman."

"She's Johanna Mason, that person next to her is Gale Hawthorne; he was your mother's old hunting partner." Peeta replies, successfully identifying the man she was looking at. When she doesn't respond, he starts to stand, then hesitates. "You want to talk about something?" He asks softly.

She begins to speak, but then quickly shakes her head. Running her fingers through her hair, she sits back, taking a deep breath. "No, it's not important. Thanks for asking."

He gives her a warm smile, "As I was saying earlier, your mother wants to talk to you." He pauses, "If you ever need to talk, you know where I am." She nods, watching as he walks away, then gets up to go to her room, not wanting to find her mother.

Katniss spots her daughter before Lavinia even rounds the corner leading from the kitchen to the hall. "Vinny, there you are! I've been looking for you." She says and her daughter whips around, something passes through her eyes for a split second before she smiles.

"Hey mom," Lavinia replies, hoping her mother doesn't see that she'd rather be upstairs in her room doing anything but talk to new people. One of which is scaring her more than she'd ever let on. Gale Hawthorne, or so her father called him; she recognized the name. Her mother mentioned him once in a blue moon - probably because she could always tell her dad didn't like him. Lavinia had never known her father was such a good judge of character. "I heard you were looking for me."

"I was," She says, "I want you to meet our guests." She says leading her daughter into the living room where she brings her right to the center of the room.

Lavinia has never liked being unprepared, she's never liked introductions, and she's _definitely_ never liked large groups of people. You might even say she's _afraid _of the latter. In fact, standing in front of over a dozen people, eyes trained on her, even _his, _silently judging her, she feels like she's about to have a panic attack. Her mother introduces her to old friends, and she tries to pay attention, she makes an attempt to learn their names, but she knows the attempt is futile.

The familiar-looking woman with metallic-blue hair – was she Effie? Or did that name belong to the brown haired woman next to her? – spoke first when her mother finished. "It has been so long since I've seen you." She says, smiling. "You've grown up so much. You look just like your mother did at your age."

She doesn't know whether she's supposed to respond to that or not. All she knows is that her heart is beating a mile a minute and her brain is probably going about that speed too. If there's a fight, she has the advantage. She's lived in this house since she was born and she knows where every exit and window is. That's what she'd have to depend on, especially since he's so much bigger and stronger than her.

Keeping her head right now is probably the hardest thing she's ever had to do. She wants to run, but then he'd know that he's won. She'd rather die than let him think he's trapped her.

A blonde woman nods, "You remind me so much of her." What was her name? Delly or something, maybe Dolly? "How's school been going?"

"Decently," Lavinia says, not really even thinking about the response.

A dark-haired man – one she recognizes as one of District Twelve's few victors – Haymitch Abernathy, "With the same amount of charm." He says, laughing.

The sound makes her jump. It's loud and sudden, not to mention unexpected. She forces herself to recover and smile. "Still more than you," She says and the room explodes in laughter.

"I like this girl," One woman – Johanna Mason, maybe – says proudly. "Come on, kid, sit down."

"I'd love to, but I have to work on a school project." She lies. There's no truth to lie, either. Her mother gives her a strange look and Lavinia only shrugs in response.

"Oh, I'm sure you can get it done tomorrow. You have a whole week to finish it. It's due this Friday, right?" Her mother replies, giving her an 'I have no idea what you're trying to do, but it won't work' look. Lavinia finally gives in, sitting down on a chair that's been pulled up into the strange circle. "And what happened to your squirrel, I thought you had her."

She looks down at the floor, "Wild dogs got her and tore her up bad. I couldn't save her so I buried her in the forest." Another lie and with each one she's starting to feel more and more guilty. She knows she's going to need to convince her brother not to tell, but how could she do that? Bribe him?

There's silence, complete and utter silence until Titan walks in and examines the scene. "Well this is . . . awkward," he announces, looking around at everybody carefully, his dog at his heels, then he looks directly at her as he speaks. "I just wanted to say that if you guys want cookies, there are some in the kitchen, dad just finished making them." A lot of the people in the room get up and go to retrieve cookies and Lavinia uses this as an excuse to get up and leave. She doesn't even have to speak for her brother to know to follow her into the library. "You look worse than you did before," He says evenly, "What's up?"

Lavinia refuses to directly answer her brother's question; instead she takes a deep breath. "You can't tell." She whispers, "I'll do anything, just, please, you can't tell them."

He crosses his arms, "Vin, as your brother-"

"Don't start with the 'all I want is what's best for you' monologue; I don't need to hear it. Titan, they can't know." She says harshly.

"Why should I hide something this big from them? You just lied to our mother and an army of her friends. She's going to find out eventually and she's going to be pissed." He practically growls.

"Because she'd never believe me," Lavinia hisses. "Why should she believe that her old hunting partner raped her daughter?" The words ring through the room, and for a long moment they just glare at each other, suddenly wondering why they were mad at each other.

Titan is the first one to break the silence. "He did that to you?" He asks softly, and when this is met with a small nod from his sister, he closes his grey eyes. "I'll kill him." And it even sounds like he would; it sounds more like a promise than any kind of empty threat she's ever heard.

She shakes her head, "No, you won't."

"What he did-" He starts, but his sister cuts him off.

"Was unforgivable and horrible and cruel and so on and so forth, but that doesn't mean you should kill him." _Although if he did, _she thinks, _I wouldn't necessarily try to stop him._

"Kill who?" The voice comes from the door which both kids had neglected to lock, foolishly assuming nobody would try to disturb them. They both turn to face him at the same time. "What a . . . happy little reunion, isn't it? You've already told him, right?" He asks, looking directly at Lavinia who looks to the side. "Someday I'll kill you both. Your mother too, the little-"

"Gale," The voice of the kids' father stops him in the calmest, most rational voice any of them had ever heard, but his eyes contain anger, something that neither Lavinia nor Titan have ever seen in their father's eyes. They exchange a frightened glance before looking back to the two men. "I believe you've outstayed your welcome. I'd appreciate it if you'd leave right now and never come back." He continues, stepping forward, into the room. "If you ever bother my family again, it will be the end for you. Please leave immediately."

For a minute, Gale contemplates killing the man who stole his girlfriend right then, but he knows that Peeta wouldn't suffer enough just if he killed him, so he stalks out, not saying another word. Lavinia waits until he's left before she silently walks up to her father and hugs him. When she lets go he speaks. "I heard you guys talking." Peeta says simply then kisses his daughter's forehead lightly. "If he ever touches you again, tell me. Okay?" She nods and he looks to his son, still speaking to both of them. "He's dangerous and if he plans on going through with any of that, you two had better watch out. I'll do everything I can to protect you, but there's only so much I can do."

He takes a deep breath, "Vin, if you want, you can stay in your room or stay here; I'll talk to your mother. I'll make you whatever you want for dinner once everybody's out. I've got to go for now. Titan, could you run down to the basement and grab some more fold-up chairs?"

The boy nods and hurries out the door. "If you want to join us, dinner will be ready at six." Peeta says, "You know I love you."

"I love you too, dad," She whispers, trying to keep herself from crying long enough to go up to her room and lock the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't know if I've done a disclaimer for this story at all yet, but - and this amazed even me - I'm not Suzanne Collins and I never will be. Please read and review and, of course, enjoy.**

Late that night, when her parents are all asleep, Lavinia pulls herself out of bed and pulls on a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, and the leather jacket her mother gave her along with a hat. Winter was already more than taken its place in the woods and outdoors everywhere. She hesitates before starting down the stairs though, and shoves her pocketknife into her pocket. Just for protection. She doesn't know if she could actually stab somebody if it came down to it though.

She's not late tonight and neither is he. He reaches out for her, but she backs away for the first time in years. She feels three seconds away from falling down on her knees and chanting 'I'm not worthy, please forgive me' and that makes her hate herself. She doesn't even say hello to him, the whole story just spills from her lips and when she finally stops, she's close to crying and her breathing is uneven.

He pulls her into a tight hug, holding her close, but she pulls away just as quickly as he had pulled her in and he doesn't resist. He knows she can bite hard and he doesn't need to show up at home with teeth marks and possibly blood on his skin. She takes a shaky breath and he recognizes that look, the one she gets when she just needs to let everything out. "I can't stand it. My dad is being even _more _protective than he already was and my mother is starting to do the same and my brother will barely let me out of his sight." She finally breathes before she continues, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "It's like their trying to smother me. All I've ever wanted was to be normal and every time it seems like I've got it down, something comes back and bites me in the ass and then _this." _She spits the last word, "_He _has to show up and ruin my whole sense of normalcy and ruin my whole life while he was at it."

Hot tears of anger roll down her cheeks and she wipes them away brusquely. "I guess this is just life's way of saying I'm never going to be anything and that I'm only ever going to be a _slut." _She backs up, running into a tree and letting herself slide down it onto the hard ground. "If I'd been paying attention, I would've known, or if I'd just stayed at home."

Frost is silent. He doesn't know what he could tell her that could possibly calm her down. He knows her well enough to be able to predict that she's not really going to listen what she says right now. She's too overworked and overstressed to listen properly or let anyone close. He can barely listen anymore; she's talking so fast that he's surprised she's still speaking real words. "Take a deep breath," He suggests, "Count to ten, let it out, and then tell me what I can do to help you."

She does as he says, but when she opens her mouth, she shakes her head. "I don't know, Frost, I don't know what anyone can do to help me; I just know that being spoiled like a little brat _isn't _helping."

"You want to be treated like nothing happened?" He asks gently, sitting in front of her.

She buries her head in her knees and takes a shaky breath. "I don't know what I want and even if I did. How could I ever explain this to my parents? They'd think I'm weak." She looks back into his warm, brown eyes. "I mean, they won the Hunger Games – twice – and my mother . . . she was the Mockingjay. They've been through so much and . . . and they don't need to worry more about me." She takes a careful breath. "My own mother barely believes me."

Frost nods, "You said they were friends when they were kids?" When she nods he does too, "That's what it is then. It's not necessarily that she doesn't believe you; it's that she doesn't want to. They'd probably been friends for years and . . . well . . . sometimes when you know someone that well and they change, you don't want to believe. Or you don't see that they've changed." He pauses for a few seconds, "At least, that's what my mom told me." His mom's the school counselor; she'd gone to school to be a professional therapist, but then decided she wanted to help kids so she moved here where they had no therapists or anything and became a school counselor.

"Guess it makes sense," She murmurs, considering the new information. "Thank you," she whispers, "How do you always know how to help?" He only shrugs in response and she pulls herself forward and kisses him. When she pulls away, she shifts so she's sitting cross-legged like him. "What do you think would happen if we told our parents?"

"Don't know," He says softly. "My mom would probably give me a lecture on how this only ever happened because I was told we couldn't be together and my dad would probably just stand there and pretend he cares." He raises his eyebrows, "What do you think yours would do?"

"Dad would say he wants to meet you and my mother would probably freak out. They'd invite you over for dinner and then decide you're a pretty cool guy. My mom would probably pull me off to the side and try to convince me that I'm too young to date and so on and so forth." She says, looking over to the side where there was a small rustle in the trees. It's not big enough to be dangerous. Maybe just a chipmunk or a squirrel, but either way, it's not going to hurt either of them. Normally, she wouldn't notice something so small, but why now?

"You're so cute," He breathes and she looks at him questioningly. "You talk with your hands and you don't even realize it."

She shakes her head indignantly, "No I don't."

He shrugs and sits back, giving her a half-smile, "Yes, you do. At least when you're really emotional, you do." Before she can even say anything, he kisses her again. "Trust me, Vinny, you do. Personally, I think it's adorable." And with that, he kisses her on the forehead.

She smiles; glad she has someone outside her family she can actually talk to and who won't hate her. Sure, her brother's fine, but sometimes his mood changes so fast she'd be able to convince herself he's bipolar. "Fine, I guess I do. But you . . ." She falters, trying to think of something that could be a fault, "You're seventeen and I'm the only girl you've ever kissed."

"How do you know that's true?" He asks, trying to keep a straight face, but failing. He pulls her into his lap and kisses her, "I could've kissed hundreds of other girls."

She laughs now, the first time today, "Oh, please. No you didn't."

He looks her over carefully, "And how do you know that?"

She leans in close to his ear and whispers, "We had a meeting. None of them would take you." He laughs so hard he falls back. "But somebody had to, so I volunteered."

He fakes a serious face, "Out of the goodness of your heart?"

She leans down so her chest presses down on his, "Out of the goodness of my heart." She subconsciously traces circles on his chest, "Because I'm so nice . . ." She pauses and pretends to consider it, "Well, nice . . . and desperate. I mean, who else would take me?"

"Anyone," He replies softly, reaching up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'll tell you right now, Vin, you could ask any guy in the world to go out with you and they probably would. None of them deserve you though, but nobody ever could." And just like that she feels completely better. He can always manage to do that. She could have what she thinks is the worst day in her whole life and he could manage to make it feel like the best.

"I love you, Frost," She sighs, smiling.

"I love you, too, 'Vinia," He murmurs, kissing her softly. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

She smiles, "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow." She kisses him one last time before she gets up and starts home. He watches her go as he always does before he starts home too.


	6. Chapter 6

**I am really sorry for the wait and that this chapter is the shortest I've posted on this story so far. Hope I made it interesting enough. Tell me if you like it or not in a review! Read, review, and - as always - enjoy!**

The next morning as the two kids reach District Twelve's only school which houses all the grades, they automatically split of into their own two groups, just like every other day. The excitement in the air from Christmas is palpable, even if nerves overtake Lavinia the second she sees her small group of friends who are talking about something; probably Christmas presents and other things such as that. Still, Amber, the one person who's been her friend through thick and thin, looks somewhat distressed.

For a split second, Lavinia thinks about going around the back of the school and avoiding them altogether. It wouldn't be too late, they haven't seen her yet, but she pushes these thoughts away. _This is insane, _she tells herself, _why would you ignore them? They're your friends. _So with a deep breath, she approaches her friends.

"I couldn't believe it," Amber breathes almost desperately, "I've been asking for a new phone _all year _and I _still _didn't get it."

Lavinia's response comes automatically, the same one she's given her friend since sixth year when Amber's mother brought her to the Capitol for a couple days. "Probably couldn't afford it," she says evenly, "Those things are really expensive, especially since the out-of-city price rose drastically a couple years ago."

And, of course, she gets the same response in return. "But I've been asking for _years, _Vin, and they've had plenty of time to save up. But I guess I understand; I just hope I get it next year." She sighs, "Not to mention my grandma and grandpa came out for Christmas. That was _torture, _I mean, the most embarrassing thing _ever. _You wouldn't _believe _it."

Celeste nods sympathetically, "I'm so glad my grandparents never come to visit."

_At least you have grandparents, _Lavinia thinks bitterly, but ignores the thought. "What happened?" She asks, pretending to be extremely concerned.

Amber shakes her head, "Oh, where to begin?" She exclaims and then starts in on a long story about something to do with her grandmother and a turkey which Lavinia doesn't pay much attention to.

"You okay, 'Vinia?" Lilly asks gently.

"Sure, fine," She says without thinking.

Amber looks Lavinia incredulously. "Seriously, Vinny, you're off today. I mean, you always try to make me think about the other side of my stories, but now you're just-"

Lavinia interrupts, "I'm fine; nothing happened – my life is just unicorns pooping fairies pooping rainbows, how about yours?" She knows they mean well, but she refuses to let her guard down. She did once and just look at what happened as a result of that.

Celeste takes a pause, trying to work out what her friend said. "Okay, that unicorn-fairy-rainbow thing makes _no _sense, but it sounded cool." She says, "But, on another note, are we still on for Friday?" The girls had been planning on going to Celeste's house for a sleep-over to celebrate her birthday that Friday.

"I don't think I can," Lavinia lies, "My parents aren't letting me go anywhere anymore."

"But we've been planning this for_ever!"_ Celeste says unhappily. "Why won't they let you come?"

"No idea," She says, lying again, even though she doesn't like it. She's always hated lying, even if it was easy for her. _Why are you avoiding them? _She silently asks herself. _This is insane! _

That is when the five minute bell rings, warning the students to get inside. As her friends leave and the other kids all pour in, she gets the feeling that she's being watched. She glances behind her, but there's nothing there. She shakes her head subconsciously, knowing there probably wasn't anything there. It's a little like the feeling you get after watching a really scary movie and you're walking upstairs or into another room in the dark and you think something's about to jump out at you. That thought sends chills down Lavinia's spine, encouraging her to go inside before something bad happens.

Little did Lavinia know, her fears were realized. From a couple yards away, Gale Hawthorne watches. He only wants revenge on Katniss for choosing Peeta instead of him and he knows the way to get to her is through her children. So far, it's working. The girl – whatever her name is, he can't seem to remember – is going to be easy, but he's not so sure about the boy. He's not too worried about that, though. He'll figure it out eventually, but for now, the girl.

He knows his next move will be to destroy any sense of safety she has in this world. He knows she retreats to the woods when she doesn't know where else to go and that's where she goes to meet the President's grandson in the middle of the night. He'd followed her out there last night, but she hadn't noticed, he doesn't think she'd even thought he might have been watching her. The thought of killing her was amazingly appealing, but he knows that wouldn't be nearly as bad for Katniss as slowly taking down her children will be. Then, he has another appealing idea; one he thinks just might work, but he'll give his current plan a couple days first. He smiles to himself as he turns and walks away in the direction of the Hob – District Twelve's black market.

That day just after lunch, Lavinia was in the chorus room with Lilly, the strangest of her small group of friends. They haven't known each other as long as Lavinia has known Amber but they've managed to become decent friends. "Something happened," Lilly says, "What was it? And don't pull out the unicorns again, they won't work this time. Not with me."

"You don't like unicorns, huh?" She breathes.

"Of course I like unicorns," Lilly exclaims indignantly. "They just don't need to be there in the middle of your problems. So, what's going on?"

Lavinia sighs and slides back in her chair, crossing her legs. "Doesn't matter, I'm just in the middle of an argument with my mom." She's not really sure if what's going on between her and her mother is an argument but it still works well as an excuse.

Lilly nods, "Oh, about the sleepover? I really hope they change their minds. It'll be fun!"

"I'm sure it will be." Lavinia says passively. She's not really sure if she wants to go or not. Everything's just so confusing to her right now. Thankfully, that was when the teacher came in and class started.

After school, as Lavinia was walking home, she had a feeling of impending trouble. Something bad was going to happen. She doesn't let herself believe it, though. She knows she's probably just scaring herself. But that doesn't stop her from feeling the need to look over her shoulder every three seconds. She doesn't, but she listens hard for any sign of something amiss. She couldn't find anything wrong around her.

_Maybe it isn't something outside. _The voice felt real and it's almost like somebody was standing right beside her. Or that the voice was – and this really scared her – _inside _her. She put it down to her subconscious trying to scare her. _Maybe it's you. _But there it was again. _He's watching you. _It whispers, and she feels something brush against the small of her back. She whips around, but nothing is there.

It wasn't until she got home that she was actually able to think in a real, complete, coherent thought.

It wasn't until she was safely at the desk in her room, starting on a History worksheet that she realized she might actually be more afraid of the voice than she was of Gale Hawthorne.


	7. Chapter 7

**Happy Valentines Day! I wish you all luck in your love life. And for all of you feeling Forever Alone, I'm totally with you! :) I'm posting this chapter the night before Valentines Day because I am going to be busy all day tomorrow and won't have time to post. As I promised, this chapter ought to supply a decent amount of action and surprise. Please read, review (Please review), and enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games. I know I haven't been putting on disclaimers, but I honestly just forgot. I'm pretty sure we all know I don't own the awesomeness that is the Hunger Games.**

**IMPORTANT: After this chapter, I will not be posting any more until I receive at least fifteen reviews. I work really, really hard on this and I'd appreciate some kind of feedback. If you hate it, tell me. If you love it, tell me. Just give me some kind of feedback.**

She wasn't able to sleep because Hawthorne was there in her nightmares, so she sat up awake on that Friday night, wondering what she was going to do. Personally, she hadn't seen Hawthorne in the last week, but that didn't mean that she could swear he wasn't

_(No, God, please don't let him be)_

behind her. And what if he was? Could he be? Her parents are out at dinner with one of their friends. She hasn't heard that voice since Monday. that, at least, she was thankful for. Her brother is out at his friend's house. She doesn't know why she's so terrified. But he swore revenge. What if he showed up here?

Her brother's dog barks from downstairs. Just one short sound, and then he's quiet. She silently gets up and goes into the next room, finding a baseball bat in her brother's room. Then she goes to the stairs, looking over the bannister to see if anything is there. And of course there's nothing. She descends the rest of the stairs, still unable to slow her heart's rapid beating. There's no noise but her breathing and the sound of the dog's claws against the floor.

Even the dog seems tense, but that could be any number of things. She takes a glass out of one of the top cabinets and fills it with water from the tap. She takes a small sip and takes a seat at the table. There's a presence there and she could swear somebody else is here. But there can't be. Maybe it's just the voice. At least the voice isn't physically there. It can't hurt her. It's not a real thing. That's all in her head. Gale Hawthorne isn't.

Lavinia knows she won't be able to sleep tonight, just like last night and the night before. The few times she _did _fall asleep were horrible. Her dreams were nightmares and when she woke up, she felt no better. She hasn't seen Frost since Sunday night and she was starting to feel really bad about it. She needs to talk to him eventually and she knows it.

Then she hears footsteps and by the time she's turned around, she can see the whites of his eyes. Before she could really even think, she throws a punch at him, but he grabs her hands pulls them above her head, holding them against the cabinets. Cerberus bites him hard and latches onto his leg, growling low and deep. It's a sound Lavinia had never heard out of the dog, but she knew she wasn't imagining it. Hawthorne lets go of her to fight off the dog and she shoves him back, digging the heels of her palms into his chest. He hits the island and he forgets about the dog for a second. Instead, he grabs her and throws her onto the island, pulling out a knife while she was still trying to regain her senses.

Hawthorne grabs the dog and holds the knife to the retriever's throat. "Call him off or I'll do it for you." He growls and Lavinia's heart starts pounding again. She can barely think straight.

"Go," She whispers, "Cerb, go." Then she snaps twice. That's the dog's signal to go find his master – her brother - and Hawthorne releases him, still gripping the knife fiercely. The dog licks her fingers which rest just beneath the counter and then trots off. Lavinia can only hope her brother will get the message, although she knows it's a long shot. He has book smarts, not street smarts. This, she believes, would qualify as the latter.

"If you try anything, I'll slit your throat," He growls. "But I don't want to, not this time, not quite yet, at least," He pushes her back and her head hits something hard. Of course, the phone; if she could just manage to hit the 1 button, it could dial Haymitch and then she'd just have to get it off the cradle. She nods hesitantly as she scrambles back and gets her hand behind her back, over the dial pad. For this to work, he'll have to be awake though. She finds what she thinks is the one and presses down on it hard. Then, she carefully removes it from the cradle.

Hawthorne noticed and his hand slid behind her, pressing the disconnect button. "Try that again and you'll be dead," he whispers in her ear. Then he shoves her off the counter and she hits her head hard against the cabinets on the ground. The burst of pain shocks her and she can't think at all. None of it makes sense. She's got a horrible headache where she hit her head she lets out a low groan of pain. He straddles her waist and holds her arms above her head. In her time of inability to think, she screams as loudly as she can, trying not to pay attention to her head and how much it hurts.

She doesn't know what she screamed or if there were actually any definite words, but she doesn't think it really matters. All she wants is someone to come and help. She feels something sharp (the knife?) digging into her side and his hand goes over her mouth. "What did I tell you earlier?" He growls. That was about when she was aware of her consciousness fading. She can feel a warm, wet liquid on the back of her head and is pretty sure it's blood.

Then, she feels the knife move down her side to her hip, she struggles, but he holds her down. She screams again, but it's muffled by his hand. He puts more pressure on her mouth so she can't even open it. Blackness it beginning to ring her vision and she's starting to feel nauseous. Although she wouldn't remember it later, at that moment, she could hear the voice again. _He's going to kill you. _It whispers darkly. _This is going to be the end for you. _And she feels the cold touch on the underside of her thigh this time, knowing it couldn't be Hawthorne.

The girl's irises are almost invisible. Her pupils are so dilated, only a ring of that icy blue surrounds them. He wants to kill her, but that won't get him what he wants. He can see blood coming from the wound on the back of her head.

She feels him touching her and she knows she won't be conscious much longer. The blackness that had been ringing her vision is getting thicker. The last thing she feels is him pulling down her sweatpants.

When she comes too, Lavinia has no idea where she is, but then realizes that she's in her room. Her head aches and the very little light that comes in through the crack on the bottom of the door hurts her eyes. She buries her face in the soft pillow and moans in pain.

The door opens a little more and she looks to see who it is. It's her mother and she's not really surprised. Then, she hears the voice, but it's softer this time. _Why are you still alive? You should be dead. _She shivers as it gets colder and she can see the shadow of what looks like a person on the wall, but there's no light source for it to project from. _Next time will be the last._

"You awake, Vin?" Her mother asks softly, sitting beside her on the bed. Lavinia barely nods in response. Katniss gently runs her fingers through Lavinia's hair. "How are you feeling?"

"Everything hurts," She whispers. "Mom, am I gonna die?" She asks hesitantly.

"No, sweetie, you'll be okay," Katniss leans over and kisses her daughter's temple lightly. "You have a mild concussion, painful, not deadly."

"I thought I died," Lavinia whispers, closing her eyes. "What happened?"

She feels her mother gently stroke her hair. "Haymitch stopped him from killing you. When he came in, Gale had a knife to your throat. I'm sorry I didn't believe you, I just-"

Lavinia takes a deep breath. "It's okay," she breathes. She can vaguely remember what happened and is pretty sure she knows what he did after she lost consciousness and she was glad she wasn't able to feel it. Lavinia closes her eyes tighter, hoping to block out the image of Hawthorne and the memories that she would rather forget. She wishes she could, more than anything else in the world. "Where did he go?"

There's a pause and Lavinia notices. She understands it, too. "Vinny," She breathes, "Nobody knows. We think he went into the woods, but don't worry about that right now, just get better. If you want anything, Haymitch is here. I have to go help your father at the bakery."

She doesn't know how long it was before the headache finally begins to fade into a dull, aching. She pulls herself out of bed and pulls on a t-shirt and jeans. She goes downstairs and finds Haymitch in the living room, watching reruns of some dumb Capitol television show. He must've heard her come down the stairs because he looks back at her. "Hey there, kid, how are you feeling?" He asks, muting the show.

"I'm okay." She says softly. "Thank you, Haymitch. I owe you my life."

He shrugs, "No problem, kid." He hands her a bottle of water which she takes gratefully, taking a long drink.

"How long was I out anyway?" She asks softly, honestly curious. The sun is already starting to set.

"I only found you last night so maybe a little under a day." He replies, glancing at a clock. "I'd bet you wish you were out long enough to skip school." He says darkly.

She rolls her eyes. "Are you kidding?"

He shrugs, "Sure, why not." Then he looks at her carefully. "I know it's really none of my business, but what are you going to do?"

That confuses her. "What am I going to do about what?" She asks, trying to assemble a list in her mind of what he could be talking about.

"So you don't know then," He breathes, shaking his head and he gives her a strange look.

"What am I supposed to know?" She snaps, getting annoyed for no real reason. "And what haven't people been telling me?"

Haymitch sighs. "Your mom had a doctor come in and stitch up a couple of those cuts and he took a blood test…" He trails off, like he expects her to know what he's trying to say. She waits less than patiently for him to continue and when he finally does, the answer shocks her. "You're pregnant."


	8. Chapter 8

**I really appreciate all of you who reviewed, it really means a lot to me. So here's chapter eight, just like I promised. I hope you all enjoy and would love it if you tell me whether or not you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games. If you don't know that by now, you probably never will.**

"What do you mean I'm pregnant?" Lavinia hisses, honestly hoping he's kidding, but by the look on his face, he's dead serious. He still doesn't respond to her and she takes a deep breath, trying to think about some way it could be incorrect and coming up with nothing. "That isn't possible." She announces, although her voice cracking made it much less believable.

"Don't tell me your parents never gave you The Talk." Haymitch says jokingly and Lavinia glares at him. "Hey, just trying to lighten the mood." He says defensively.

She ignores his comment for the most part. "What am I going to do?" She whispers to herself. "I can't do this." Then she looks at Haymitch with wide blue eyes. "When we brought to baby simulation things home, I threw mine at the wall when it started crying in the middle of the night. I didn't feed the thing all weekend and the teacher said it would've died ten times over that one weekend." She takes a shaky breath, "I am probably the worst person to have a baby in the history of people having babies."

Haymitch rolls his eyes, "Oh please, I'm sure there would be a lot worse. Besides, you have options, kid."

Lavinia sits beside Haymitch on the couch, trying to keep herself from crying. "Like what?" She asks, wiping her eyes even though she's not really crying yet.

He sighs, "I'm not an expert on this stuff and you should probably talk to your parents about this, but you have a couple options. If you want to have the baby, you could keep it, put it up for adoption, or give it to the community home." The community home is supposed to be like a foster home, but most of the children from there that she's seen carry bruises and cuts from abuse. "Or you could get an abortion."

She knows she should've seen that one coming and she knows the idea should be an immediate no. It's so disapproved of its practically illegal. But to her right now, it honestly sounds like her best option. She couldn't go through a pregnancy. She knows she couldn't. It's bad enough this even happened, she couldn't have a baby. Lavinia closes her eyes tightly, hoping that this is just a horrible dream although she knows it isn't. It's an even worse reality.

"You have time, kid." Haymitch says gently. "It's a big decision. Just think about it. You should talk to your parents about it when they get back." He says.

"So, what were you watching?" She asks quickly, trying to change the subject.

Haymitch looks at the screen where the show is still going, only silently. On the screen, a woman and a man are fighting about something. "I have no idea," he sighs. "Nothing good is ever on anyways." He mutters the last sentence to himself.

Lavinia shrugs, "Try number fourteen."

He looks at her like she's insane. "That's the old theater channel."

"Sure, but Titus Andronicus is way better than this." She says dryly, watching as the couple on television finally stops yelling and it switches to an ad of some kind. Possibly for jewelry of some kind, but she doesn't really pay attention. She's too busy thinking, trying to work out what the hell is going on. It still doesn't feel real to her. It's impossible. After all the times school counselors and health teachers had warned the students about teen pregnancy, she had honestly thought she wasn't stupid enough to let something like that happen. She takes a deep breath, trying to keep herself from freaking out.

_"You won't be alive much longer," _The voice whispers almost soothingly, _"Why let him take your life? Why should you give him that pleasure? You should do it yourself. It would happen anyway." _She closes her eyes, trying to fight away the voice because what it's suggesting is beginning to appeal to a small part of her. The Voice terrified the rest of her, though. She feels something that's not there run down her spine and she shivers.

"You okay?" Haymitch asks uncertainly.

She takes a deep breath, "I don't know," The she looks at him, unsure. "So, you don't hear it, do you?"

He looks at her oddly, "Hear what?"

Lavinia shakes her head, "It's probably nothing." She whispers, "Things are just a little" –she searches for a word that would work- "strange right now, you know? I just need time to get over it." And talk to Frost. She knows she needs to do that. None of this was fair to him. They have barely even spoken since last Sunday. But she's pretty sure Haymitch wouldn't like it if she just left. He may seem like he doesn't care, but she knows he's in his babysitter mode and he won't let her out. She leans back and crosses her arms, trying to figure out how she could talk to him without being murdered by her mom's ex-best-friend.

Then it occurs to her; the laptop in her bedroom. As long as he was online, she could. But, then again, this isn't exactly the kind of thing you break to someone over instant messaging or the phone. Then she glances at Haymitch who has begun channel surfing. She considers something long and hard before opening her mouth again. "Haymitch," She only gets a grunt of acknowledgment in return but accepts it. "You know the people who moved in at the Justice Building when I was, you know, six-ish?" He nods and she takes a deep breath. "I've kind of been seeing their son and-"

"You think he could be the father?" Haymitch asks carefully, glancing at me.

She shakes her head, "No. No! Haymitch, please!"

He holds up his hands, "Had to ask. So you were saying, about this boy."

"Yeah, so I haven't talk to him in, like, a week and I thought maybe I could call him and maybe I could talk to him here?" She asks hesitantly, pretty sure he was going to say no.

"Sure, I guess," He says, "But you're not leaving." He says that last part harshly and she almost laughs.

"You really think I'm that stupid? I'm not going to walk out the front door. That would be like pining a bulls-eye to my shirt." She mutters, getting up, going into the library where the other phone in the house is. She's planning on staying out of the kitchen as long as possible. He gave me his number once, but she's never actually used it. She thinks originally he'd given it to her just so he could prove to her his family had a phone, but she's really not sure. Either way, she remembers it through some feat of incredible memory and manages to dial the right number. Her hands are shaking and she has no idea how she's actually going to talk to him, but she needs to – if she doesn't she's going to go even more insane.

It's a woman who answers. Frost's mother, "Hello, this is Gwyn Delaney."

She takes a deep breath, trying not to let her voice break. "Hi, is Frost home?"

"Yes," She says pleasantly, "Who are you?"

"I'm Fox," She replies, not really wanting to give the woman her first name for some reason. Not that it matters much; in the grade school that was pretty much all she went by. "One of his friends from school," Lavinia hopes she doesn't ask for a last name. She doesn't want to lie to her boyfriend's mother.

She can practically feel her smile, "Alright, I'll get him. Just hold on a minute." Lavinia hears movement and sits up on the mahogany desk close to the back of the room. She takes another deep breath as she hears the phone being transferred from one person to another.

"Hey, Fox," The voice on the other side says and she's certain it's Frost. "I haven't talked to you in a while. How are you doing?"

"Not great. We really need to talk," She says softly, "Do you think you could come over?"

There's a short pause, "Yeah, I can." He says, "Now?"

She nods although she knows he can't see it. "Please."

"Alright, I'll be there is couple minutes." He says gently, maybe he could tell she was really upset.

"Third house on the left," She says, realizing he probably doesn't know exactly where she lives. "Thank you." And then she's the one who hangs up, not wishing to prolong goodbyes that might change her mind. Then she goes back into the living room where Haymitch still is. He continues to flip through the channels. He ignores her for the most part, but she doesn't care.

Frost is there in maybe five minutes, just as Lavinia was considering taking the remote from Haymitch and throwing it across the room. All the different noise from the now-unmuted television was getting on her nerves. She gets up and is at the door just five seconds after he knocks. She opens the door and holds it open for him to come in. He enters hesitantly and looks around, but after just seconds, his eyes were back on her. She closes the door behind him. "That's Haymitch, by the way." She tells him. "My parents are making him babysit me."

He laughs softly and Haymitch barely turns around to look at him. "You'd better believe it. If I didn't have to be here, I'd be asleep. Up before three in the afternoon on a Saturday, bad enough I was up late Friday night trying to make sure you weren't going to die on us."

She sighs as she notes Frost watching her carefully. "Well, that's one way to tell you." She breathes, "Come with me and I'll try to clarify that for you because, apparently, Haymitch doesn't understand the art of subtlety." She practically growls and then leads Frost back into the library. He doesn't try to object. She only speaks again once the door is closed behind her.

He carefully takes her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles as he watches her carefully. "What's going on?" He asks softly.

"It was him," She breathes.

"Not Haymitch," it was a comment, he knows what she's talking about. He stays completely calm, something she knows she'd never be able to do. She nods and tries to keep herself from crying again. She can't stand this. She doesn't want to cry every time she thinks about it. It needs to stop. Everything needs to stop. "It's okay, Vin, take a deep breath."

She takes a shaky breath, "I- I'm sorry," She breathes, hugging him tightly. He hugs her back and lightly strokes her shoulder blade. She tries to explain it quickly and shortly, just extremely basic information, not telling him yet about her being pregnant. She'd rather get this out first and then try to figure out how to tell him about that. Still, she's stuttering like crazy and she doesn't know whether or not he actually understands what she's saying. When she's finally finished, she's definitely crying.

Frost still holds her gently, staying calm. When he's sure she's done, he speaks again. "You're safe right now; I won't let him touch you as long as I'm here." He murmurs, kissing her temple lightly.

Lavinia takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. "Frost," She breathes into his shirt, she doesn't know how she manages to get the words past her lips, but somehow she does. "I'm pregnant."

She feels him take a deep breath. "Are you certain?" She nods and she feels his fingers lightly tap against her back. He's thinking about it hard. "You know I love you, 'Vinia," He murmurs. "Whatever you do, I'll stand by you, okay?" Again, all she can really do is nod. "Can I tell my parents we're dating?"

She nods again, "I love you, too, Frost," She whispers through the tears.

"Look at me, Vin," he murmurs and he tilts her chin up, meeting her eyes with his. He gently wipes away her tears. "You ever need to talk you can call me and I'll be there. You know, as long as I'm not in school." And when she smiles, he does too. "I love you," he murmurs, giving her a gentle kiss.

"I love you too," She breathes. "Thank you for not . . . you know, running away."

He shakes his head, "I wouldn't do that to you, you should know that."

She nods, "I know." Then she just wants to stop talking about it because she hates talking about this stuff to him. She glances at the clock, "My parents are probably going to be home soon."

He smiles, "It'd probably be pretty difficult to explain why I'm here, right?"

"Definitely," She sighs, "And I have a lot I need to talk to them about, too."

"No problem," He murmurs, kissing me on the forehead before he pulls away. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" She nods and they go back out into the living room where they say final goodbyes and he leaves. Lavinia knows the rest of the day will be even more difficult. She still has to talk to her parents who are probably going to be home any minute. While she waits for them, she continues to think about what she's going to do.

**What do you guys think she should do? Review of send me a PM if you have an opinion.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, especially macci1245. I've fixed the errors I found and will probably go through again sometime just to be sure.**

**Disclaimer: You all won't believe it but... I'm not Suzanne Collins and, therefor I do not own the Hunger Games. Or Titus Andronicus, but you know, oh well.**

**Please read and review, it's much appreciated and now, without further ado, enjoy!**

Her brother is home before Lavinia's parents are and he drops his bag in the other room. "So, what did I miss while I was gone?" He yells from the other room and Lavinia rolls her eyes.

"We made cake and ate every last bit of it without you." Lavinia says, getting up as her brother steps into the room. "Sorry, but, you know, first come first serve." She smirks, "The cake was great; chocolate with raspberry icing."

"You can't be serious." He says suspiciously. "If you were baking the whole place would smell like something is burning and the fire alarm would've gone of at least five times." Of course, a reference to her complete inability to cook anything, she saw that one coming. "So, why is Haymitch here?"

"He's babysitting us," Lavinia sighs, "And I hate it so much." She can tell by the way he looks at her that he knows it's more than their parent's getting overprotective. She takes a deep breath and nods in the direction of the stairs. He follows her down into the basement which had been turned into a kind of an art studio.

Before she can even speak, he cuts her off. "Listen, I can figure it out. Just give me the information I won't be able to deduce."

She takes a deep breath. "Two things; one, I got a concussion, but it wasn't major or anything. And, two, I'm pregnant."

"You're screwing with me." He breathes, "So Hawthorne knocked you up?"

She snorts, "Well when you say it like that…" She sighs, "Before you ask, yes, I'm pretty sure mom and dad know. Haymitch was the one who told me." Lavinia crosses her arms. "Titan, please don't freak out."

"Of course not, why would I?" He breathes, "My sister's only pregnant with the baby of some asshole who wants to kill us all." He takes a deep breath. "This is impossible."

"Impossible things are happening every day," Lavinia announces and Titan glares at her. She holds her hands up in surrender. "I had to."

"What about your midnight boyfriend?" Titan asks, "No chance he's the father?"

Lavinia glares at her brother, "What? Of course there's no chance he's the father." She spits.

He visibly takes a step back, "Whoa, whoa, calm down. It was a simple question; I'm not trying to piss you off."

And that just pisses her off even more. "Well you're doing a damn good job of it!" Then she hears the door upstairs open and their parents walk in. "Oh, yeah, and there wasn't actually any cake."

Of course she didn't hate him, but she was honestly just sick of him. He may be her brother, but right now he's getting really annoying. "I know. 'Vinia, if he went after you again and you had the chance, would you kill him?" That question is enough to make her calm down at least a little bit.

"I don't know," She whispers, honestly not sure. No, she doesn't want him touching her again or, even worse, killing her, but she wasn't sure if she had the guts to actually be able to kill someone. She's not a murderer, but deep down inside, she knows the answer is an immediate yes. She really wants him dead because if he was dead, she wouldn't have to worry about him hurting her or her family again.

"You'd better make up your mind pretty soon." Titan responds tensely, "Because it seems to me that he's already made his." Then, he goes back upstairs to where their parents are. She can hear their greetings and follows her brother upstairs slowly, still contemplating the question. He had a really good point and she knows that. To survive Hawthorne if he decides to try to kill her, the answer to that question will have to be an immediate and unshakable yes.

She reaches the main floor and – just as she'd expected – once Haymitch is out of the house, they send her brother out of the room and then it's just her and them. And just like that, even though she's not surprised, her heart is pounding. She tries not to let any fear show. But she knows that's about as helpful as trying to turn into a bird and fly away.

_They're mad. _The Voice tells her. _They're going to kill you for it. They don't want another mouth to feed or to be waked up in the middle of the night by some kid's crying. It's only a matter of time before they kill you. Why don't you do it yourself? _Lavinia shivers at the sound of it. It was scary, but the suggestion was looking more and more appealing.

For at least a minute, there's just a really awkward silence until her mother begins. "So how was your day?" Lavinia raises her eyebrows questioningly; waiting for the rest that she's sure will come. "We need to talk." And even though Lavinia's pretty sure she's not in trouble (but who knows?) that phrase reminds her of every bad thing she's done since she was three and that is a lot.

She'd never been what any parent would call the 'perfect child'; she had always been playing in mud, pulling pranks, and staying up late at night. Her grades had never been perfect, but at least she always passed. Teachers thought she was looking for attention, and maybe she was. It always seemed to her that her parents were always paying more attention to Titan than her. Sometimes it felt like they didn't notice her at all. But right now it seems like they're only paying attention to her and she hates it. "I know," She responds tensely.

"Sit down," Katniss sighs, wondering exactly how to start this conversation. She had never even really considered the possibility of a pregnancy until yesterday. Her daughter sits hesitantly in one of the armchairs as her parents sit on the couch. "I know this situation is…" she searches for a word but can't seem to find one.

"Unfortunate," Peeta finishes for her, looking to his wife, silently asking if he should take over. Unsurprisingly, she gives him a small nod. He'd always been better with words than her. "But it'll be okay." Lavinia sits back, moving so she's sitting cross-legged on the chair, getting ready for a lecture. "No matter what you do, you have to remember that we're here to support you through whatever you decide. You're going to have to talk to us, though. We're here to help you, but we can only do that as long as you communicate with us." He pauses, thinking about what to say next.

Lavinia's already sick of listening to this so she answers the unasked question. "I don't know what I want to do about it yet."

"You have time to decide," Katniss says softly, "This weekend I'd like to take you down to the Capitol to have a specialist look at you, okay? Just to make sure nothing's wrong. You can talk to her about it if you want." And then the doorbell rings unexpectedly, making Lavinia jump. She gets up and goes to the door, mostly to get out of the awkward conversation.

She pulls the door open and examines the woman behind the door long and hard, trying to figure out if she's a threat or not. The woman has blonde hair and blue eyes. She looks familiar, but Lavinia doesn't recognize her immediately. "Hello," Lavinia says cautiously.

The woman smiles, "Hello, I'm Delly."

"Delly, of course," Peeta says, and Lavinia automatically lets her in, "You've met Lavinia, my daughter. Vin, this is Delly, we were friends when we were kids." And for some reason, that doesn't really reassure her. Call it paranoia, but she has a feeling she's not going to trust any old friend of her parents' for a while.

"It's nice to meet you," Delly says, offering her hand to Lavinia who pretends not to see it.

"You too," she says unsurely, holding her ground.

Then Delly, realizing she won't get much conversation out of the girl, turns to Peeta. "I thought maybe you wouldn't mind if I stopped by to catch up. We didn't really get to talk much last weekend. I was over at the school talking with their school counselor. She had a lot of good ideas to get students to open up."

Peeta smiles warmly at her, "That's fine, you're welcome any time." Lavinia closes the door quietly and leans back against the door watching carefully. That's where she had recognized Delly from. She'd been wandering around the school for the past week. "Please, have a seat. We were just getting ready to start making dinner and there's enough for one more." Then he looks toward Lavinia, "Would you help your brother get that started?" He asks is carefully, giving her a look that told her it wasn't a demand.

She nods and silently goes around both adults and up the stairs to the room right next to hers. "Titan," She says, drumming her knuckles against the door. "Dad says we need to start dinner."

He opens the door, "Alright," He walks right past her, and she follows back downstairs.

She knows he's either doing this to get on her nerves or because of . . . everything. He has every right to hate her and she wouldn't be surprised if he never spoke to her again, especially if she decided to keep the baby - if it could even be called that yet. Lavinia reminds herself for her own sanity that it's not a baby yet and that it's just a little bundle of cells. It's not alive. But that doesn't make her feel any less – for a lack of a better word – dirty. She feels like a slut. How else could she be pregnant at sixteen years old?

The kitchen has been cleaned up. There's no sign that anything ever happened and that makes it easier for Lavinia to pretend everything is normal, but Titan isn't willing to do that. "You're getting rid of it, right?" He asks into complete silence after a pot had been set on a burner to boil. When his sister doesn't answer he looks her over carefully. "How could your answer be anything but yes?"

"You don't understand," She says softly but tensely.

"Don't understand? What do I need to understand?" He growls, "This guy rapes you and gets you pregnant and you're actually considering having his baby?" She doesn't respond, but he doesn't need her to. "What? Are you using this as some kind of excuse to get what you want? Or is it really your boyfriend's and you're just lying to our parents?"

"What do you fucking think?" She spits, "Do you really think I go and let that asshole rape me just so I'll have some kind of excuse?"

Her brother's grey eyes narrow, "I've heard of sluts doing worse."

That hits her hard. "So you think I'm some kind of a slut?"

He shrugs, "Why the hell not? Maybe you wanted it." She punches him in the face without even thinking about it and he staggers back. "What the fuck!" He yells.

They glare at each other for maybe half a second before he decides to hit back. His fist hits her and she brings her foot up and kicks him back, her foot making solid contact with his gut. He lands back on the floor just as Peeta comes in. Titan pulls himself up and merely glares at his sister. "What happened?" Peeta asks looking from his daughter to his son carefully.

"She punched me," Titan growls.

Lavinia crosses her arms, "He called me a slut," She announces indignantly, looking to her father for any kind of guidance.

Peeta takes a deep breath. "Okay, you called your sister _what, _Titan?" He asks tiredly.

"Don't pretend we're not all thinking it." He breathes, his nose just starting to bleed. "I'd bet it's actually her boyfriend's kid."

"Alright, Vin, what's your side?" Peeta sighs as Katniss and Delly come in.

"I was just in here minding my own business and he starts talking about how I'm a slut because I don't know what I want to do and he said that I _wanted _it." She almost growls the last part. "Then, I punched him. He deserved it."

Katniss nods, and meets her husband's gaze. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but he kind of did." Then she turns back to her daughter, "But that doesn't mean you should punch him in the face."

She sighs, "I know." Then she considers it, "But I'm _not _apologizing to him." She stomps her foot just to punctuate the sentence and her sincerity by that remark.

Neither Katniss nor Peeta know which one – if either – to punish. Peeta takes a deep breath. "Titan, go put some ice on that and then go up to your room."

He crosses her arms, "What about her, doesn't she get some kind of punishment?"

"Just go, Titan," Peeta sighs, "It's not your decision." And with that, her brother leaves, throwing dirty looks over his shoulder. "Vin, you know you can't just hit your brother like that."

She crosses her arms, "I know, it's just . . . he was provoking me."

He shakes his head, "Put some ice on that eye and just try to stay out of his way. If he bothers you again, just come tell me."

She nods silently and goes to take care of the forming bruise on her face.


	10. Chapter 10

**We have finally reached chapter 10! This is so exciting. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. I know this chapter is a little shorter than the last couple, but it's got a bit of a surprise in it.**

**Disclaimer: Today I woke up and, guess what, I realized I don't own the Hunger Games. Oh well, maybe you can enjoy my fanfiction even though I'm not Suzanne Collins.**

**Please read and REVIEW!**

The rest of that day was completely boring. All Lavinia did was sit up in her room and read. She wasn't even sure what book she was reading anymore, but she couldn't let herself stop thinking about something or else she'd fall asleep. And he was always in her nightmares. _Feeling a little lonely? _The Voice whispered gently. _I'm here. We can . . . talk. But first you have to do me a favor. You must make it stop. We can only handle so much. You're reaching your limit. You could end it all right now._

She shakes her head, fighting away both sleep and the Voice and the chill in the air around her that accompanies it. "It's not real," She whispers to herself. "It's not real. It can't hurt me because it's not real."

Then a dark, humanoid figure of shadows appears in front of the door to her bedroom. It's faint, but it has a glow around it that pulses a faint blue color. _Of course I'm real. _The Voice tells her softly. _I'm a part of you. I'm your conscience. I've just never had the chance to speak to you before. _It comes closer until it's only a foot away from me and the air is even colder, almost freezing. I take a shaky breath as its hand reaches out to me and I jump back as it makes contact with my skin. She expected it to be cold too, but it wasn't. It was warm, but not hot. _I'm here to help you, don't be afraid._

For some reason, though, that doesn't help her and when the creature senses her hesitation, the aura (if that's what it is) turns to a crimson red. _What do you think I'm here for? To pick up the mess you've been making? _It hisses, but then the aura turns into a light, silvery green and the voice becomes slightly calmer, yet slightly agitated. _You have to fix it on your own. _Then it disappears suddenly and she feels a warm touch on her back. She looks behind her but nothing's there. _Do you want me to leave?_

Lavinia nods and whispers, "Yes," The voice is scaring her more than she can say.

_Then you have to promise something. _It whispers. _You have to listen to what I say. _She doesn't say anything, but she knows she just wants to get rid of the Voice. _Just sleep for now. _It says, _everything has only just begun. _And then it's gone, leaving Lavinia wondering whether or not she really is sleeping right now, but she's pretty sure she's not. Either way, she puts her book to the side and finally gives in to sleep.

The next day by about noon, she'd figured out that her brother had told their parents everything after Delly left. They had been a little mad, until she explained what was actually going on. Now they want to meet him, but she's not so sure she could handle even more things that could end badly. Her brother is out with his friends again and she's pretty sure he just doesn't want to stay here. After all, she's ready to use any excuse to her get her out of the house and away from the tension.

"Hey, dad," she says, standing in the kitchen doorway. "Can I go and hang out with some of my friends?"

"Which friends are they?" Her father asks.

"Frost," she answers truthfully.

"Is he going to pick you up?" He asks and Lavinia subconsciously rolls her eyes. "I don't want you wandering around alone. And I want to talk to him before you go anywhere."

She sighs, "Okay, I'll call him and ask. But if he says okay, can I?" She asks hopefully.

"Okay, just be careful." He says. "And if anything happens, come back here. I want you back here by five." She dials the number, partially ignoring her father because he was getting annoying. Just minutes later, she had worked everything out and she was waiting. Her father is baking something, although she doesn't know what it is, and the scent fills the house after just minutes. "So, you really love him?" Her father asks after a short silence. That shocks her, but when she looks back on it, she realizes he'd probably heard her side of the conversation.

"Yes," She says, "Of course I do. Why would I lie about that?" Then she takes a deep breath. "I think I do at least. I don't know. I've never actually been in love with anybody before. But when I'm with him and he just looks in my general direction, my heart feels like it stops beating and my brain stops thinking and I just want to be with him and beat all his high scores in all his favorite video games."

Her father looks confused, trying to figure out what she just said when the doorbell rings and she doesn't give him any more time to respond before she goes and lets Frost in. "Hey," She says, closing the door behind him, knowing that the sooner he talks to her father, the sooner she'll be out of the house.

He examines her face carefully, "Hey, Vin, did you get in a fight?"

She shakes her head, "Just my brother. It's fine, doesn't hurt unless I touch it." Which was her warning for him not to even think about touching it, and he seemed to understand that. "My dad wants to talk to you before we go," Although neither of them know exactly where they're going.

Lavinia lingers in the doorway as she watches her father size Frost up. After a second Frost holds out his hand and Peeta shakes it. "It's nice to meet you," he says, "You must be the one I've heard so little about."

Frost laughs and smiles, "I guess so. It's nice to meet you too."

"Where do you think you're going to be?" He asks, probably knowing that we don't exactly have plans for anything in specific.

"Probably at my place, I need to make sure my little sister doesn't bother my mom while she's working." He says, not leaving any room for misinterpretation. Lavinia can't help but wonder how he could do that. Just say something and have it come out right. She's never really been able to do that. It always sounds confusing and dumb when she says anything.

"Okay," Peeta says, "Be careful." Lavinia is surprised by how quickly and easily that went. Still, it took about two minutes to actually leave with her father reminding her over and over again to be home by five and not get herself killed (not in those words, but it was close enough). They do end up at his house and Frost's mother glances at Lavinia, but just for a second before looking back at her papers.

Frost leads her down into the basement, "So, how are you doing?" He asks softly and Lavinia shrugs.

"I'm okay; I just got in a fight with my brother. No serious injuries, though." She says, "I guess I just have really bad people skills."

"That _would _explain a lot," Frost says lightly. "Seriously, though, why did you guys fight? I thought you got along."

She shakes her head, "We did, but things have been really weird around my place recently." She hesitates, "You know, with all the stuff going on." And of course all the 'stuff' was pretty much her fault. "So, how are you?"

He takes a deep breath. "I don't know. I mean, obviously, I'm not bad. My life is going really well, but I've been thinking a lot about . . . things." He sits down on the couch in the center of the room and Lavinia takes a seat next to him. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about you, and, well us."

Lavinia bites her bottom lip, hoping he isn't about to break up with her. That's what it sounds like. She half expected the Voice to make one of its appearances, but it doesn't. For that, she's glad. "Like what about us?"

He shrugs, "Just everything, I guess. We've known each other for ten years now and we've been together for, what, three of those years?" He asks and she nods silently. "And I couldn't imagine loving anyone but you."

"What are you trying to say?" She asks, smiling a small smile.

"I have no idea. You asked what I was thinking about, that's what I was thinking about." He says, "But I've also been thinking about, you know, that you're, um," He can't seem to say the word "pregnant" and that makes Lavinia laugh a little bit, but just a little. "Yeah, but I just . . . kind of hard not to think about, and so, I had been thinking really hard, especially over the last week, actually. Before all this, too, and I know this probably isn't the best time, but I kind of…" He visibly hesitates, making Lavinia wonder what he's talking about. "I was wondering if you would maybe possibly marry me."


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry I didn't update earlier, but my internet only JUST started working again. Still, I hope you all enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own the Hunger Games.  
**

**Please read and REVIEW.**

It took her a minute to figure out what he just said, but when she finally gets it, she has no idea what to say or what she really actually is thinking. Everything was happening all at the same time and it was starting to really confuse her. At first, she wonders if Frost was joking, but she knows he wasn't. The look on his face confirms that. Of course she loves him, but that isn't the question. The question is if she's ready to get married. It wouldn't be right away, but that didn't stop her from feeling completely unprepared.

She knows he's waiting for her to answer, but what's she going to say? She knows he's the one, but she doesn't know if she's ready for this kind of thing. "I- I don't know." She breathes, "I mean, I love you so much and I know you're, you know, the one." She doesn't even know exactly where she's trying to go with this, but she knows it is _not _coming out right. "No, wait, give me a second. I suck at talking."

"As long as you need," Frost says, smiling.

Lavinia bites her lip and takes a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. "Okay, so, are you sure you actually want to marry me?"

He nods, "Well yeah, why would I ask if I wasn't?"

She smiles, "Okay, I knew that, and . . ." She takes a deep breath, "I do want to marry you." Before she can even think, he pulls her in and hugs her tightly. She giggles, too happy not to, "I love you."

"I love you too," He murmurs, then kisses her. "You know, I as a little afraid you were going to hyperventilate."

"I was too," she laughs, "I was just really, really surprised. That was the last thing I was expecting," Of course, the main thing she as expecting as that he was going to break up with her, but she decides not to mention that. She doesn't want to ruin this. But she heard the voice again.

_The more attached you get; the harder it will be to let go when the time comes. _It whispers, but she forces herself to ignore it, forcing the thought away. _The longer you wait, the harder it will be._

Titan walks home from the woods alone. Sure, his parents said not to go to the woods or walk home alone, but does it really matter? Hawthorne won't touch him. Why would he? The only one he's actually gotten close to was his sister. Besides, he knows how to listen to his surroundings, his sister had proven twice that she doesn't. Or she did actually want it and was lying?

Deep down, he knows that's not true. His sister is miserable and he knows it, but he doesn't want to believe that this kind of stuff could happen to his older sister. He was a couple yards from the fence line when he somebody – and he could easily guess who – shoves him back against a tree. It hits the back of his head hard.

Gale Hawthorne pulls a knife out and drags it down one side of Titan's chest, making a cut. It wasn't too deep, but that didn't matter to Titan because it still hurt like hell. He cuts deeper the next time, and it continues for what feels like hours although it was actually probably only minutes. Titan doesn't know if he screamed or not, but his throat was raw. Just as his vision begins to go black and his head feels light, he hears somebody else there, pulling Hawthorne off him before dragging Titan back towards the District, yelling something. He couldn't tell who it was, but the voice sounds vaguely familiar.

As Lavinia and Frost walk back to her house, she can feel that something's wrong, but she can't tell exactly what it is and easily brushes the feeling away. How could anything be wrong on such a perfect, beautiful day? When they reach her house, she finds her dad in the kitchen talking on the phone to somebody. "Is he going to be okay?" He asks the person on the other line and Lavinia takes it that he doesn't like the answer. "When will we . . . no, no, yeah, it's fine. I can take care of Vinny. I have to go, call me if anything changes." He pauses, "I love you too, bye." Then he hangs up.

"Was that mom?" Lavinia asks, barely aware that she's clutching Frost's hand like a lifeline. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, that was your mother." He says sorrowfully, "Your brother's being brought to a Capitol hospital and he's in critical condition. We don't know if he's going to live or not. This week we're going to be staying here, but after that we're going up to the Capitol for a couple days, probably just for the weekend but it could be longer." Only then does he look to Frost. "You want to stay for dinner? We've got extra."

He glances at Lavinia, almost asking permission from her and she gives him a small nod. "Only if it won't be any trouble," He says.

"We have something we'd like to tell you anyway." Lavinia announces, and then waits for her father to look at her again. "I know it's kind of sudden, but Frost and I are getting married."

"Congratulations," He says starting to smile. "It's nice to hear such great news."

"Told you he wouldn't be mad," Lavinia says, smirking at Frost who rolls his eyes as his thumb moves lightly over the back of her hand.

Peeta nods toward the table, gesturing for the two kids to take a seat. "So, Frost, how was your day?" He asks as they all sit down, Frost next to Lavinia and Peeta across from them.

"Very good," He says as Lavinia's death-grip on his hand gradually loosens as she relaxes. Most of dinner was small talk. The first couple minutes were a little awkward, but everything had warmed up eventually as Lavinia's father began telling Frost about pretty much every embarrassing thing Lavinia's ever done. That is, until Katniss calls again.

In the Capitol hospital, Titan is still unconscious and Katniss waits impatiently for them to let her see him. She's already made it very clear to the doctors that she would not leave until she gets to see her son. She paces in the hallway outside of Titan's room, watching as a couple nurses come in and out.

It had to have been less than half an hour before the doctor comes in and looks to her, "We're going to have to remove his right kidney. It was cut too deeply and we can't salvage it. The nurses are preparing him for surgery right now. If you don't want it done, you will have to tell me right now."

Katniss' heart started beating harder when she heard the word remove, but she nods quickly and the doctor goes back into her son's room. They won't let her in again, so instead she calls her husband again, he answers and she starts talking immediately. "Listen, they have to do surgery."

He curses under his breath, so softly she can barely hear it. "Should we catch the next train?" He asks, although he's going to no matter what Katniss' answer is.

"Yes, definitely," She answers immediately. "There should be one tonight around ten thirty or eleven."

Lavinia listens in on the conversation, understanding by the urgency in her father's tone that it was serious. The conversation was short and he hangs up without asking but one question. That one question being "should we catch the next train?" and Lavinia knew her mother's answer would be an immediate yes.

When he hangs up he merely turns to his daughter and tells her to go pack a bag. Just as she gets up, Frost does too. "I want to come with you guys." He says decidedly.

"You'll be missing school." Peeta says carefully then looks at Lavinia who is pleading with him to say yes with her eyes. "You might want to call your mother first. If she says yes, you'll need to go home, pack a bag, and come back here. The next train leaves at ten thirty." He looks at the clock. "That gives you plenty of time, but if you're late, we're not waiting."

He nods and uses their telephone to call his mother. She consented after he explained the entire situation which surprised him enough. After he was gone, Lavinia turned right to her father, "How bad is it?"

"I don't know, Vinny," He sighs, "Your mother sounded really worried. She said he's going to need surgery. I don't know the details though. I need to go get packed. You also have to." She nods and runs up to her room before dumping her school bag out onto her bed and shoving enough clothes for a couple days and nights in. Then she throws in extra stuff like a hairbrush, hairbands, and a toothbrush, throwing her laptop in the back behind her clothes with a power cord.

Frost is back in plenty of time and they make it to the train station with time to spare which was good because the train actually came at ten. They get a little area to themselves. Peeta sits with the three bags next to him and across from his daughter and her fiancée – he's going to have to get used to the idea of his little girl getting married, but he trusts her judgment and Frost seems like a pretty good guy.

He can tell his daughter is half asleep already, and he doesn't blame her. It's been a big day for her. Not to mention that fatigue is a symptom of pregnancy. That's another idea he'll have to get used to. Granted, she doesn't know what she's going to do yet, but if she decided to have this baby, it could literally kill her. He watches as she fights to keep her eyes open.

Lavinia lies back, rests her head on Frost's chest as he wraps his arms around her before she finally gives in to sleep. Her father calls a hotel and gets a room before calling Katniss and telling her they were on their way.

When they get to the hotel after a train ride that lasts about two or three hours, Frost wakes up Lavinia just long enough to get up to the room. Peeta and Katniss are sharing one of the two and Lavinia and Frost are sharing the other although Katniss at first protested that. Eventually Lavinia told her mother to stop arguing and that Frost was a perfect gentleman. And her mother didn't protest any further because Lavinia already looked a little like a pissed off insomniac.

And just like they all predicted, within ten minutes of getting to their room, they were all asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**I would like to dedicate my twelfth chapter to my little sister/beta reader who just turned 12 today.**

**Disclaimer: No, I still do not own the Hunger Games.**

**Please enjoy and REVIEW!**

When she wakes up, Lavinia at first wonders where she is, but remembers when she sees Frost on the other bed across the room, asleep. She sits up and checks the clock, finding that it reads nine thirty-six. She almost decides to keep sleeping, but the light coming in through the window wouldn't allow that. Instead, she gets out of bed and goes into the bathroom which branches off of the room.

By the time she's out and dressed with her teeth brushed, she sits on her bed and starts slowly combing through her hair while Frost takes his turn in the bathroom. While she waits for Frost to come back, she can see a shadow on the wall, but when she searches for the person making it, there's none there. But then a long, slender cat that looks extremely emaciated. It has big, amber eyes. _You're afraid of it aren't you?_

She closes her eyes and silently will it away. She doesn't want to have to listen to it again, but when she opens her eyes again, it's still there, but it's only moved closer. _You can deny it all you want, but it's true. You want it all to end. _And she knows it's true. She doesn't think she can put up with everything the way it is for long. She wants to die and now is the first time she's really accepted it. She's tired of trying to keep it together in public and around her family and everything and she just can't do it anymore. _It's within your power. You just have to be alone and then . . ._ The cat disappears, but Lavinia can still feel its presence and it sends chills up her spine. _You can finally kill yourself. _

That was the first time she actually thought about how she could do it, not that she actually thought it completely through, but they were just little ideas that ran through her thoughts, but they were still there and they were very real. She tried to stop them, but it was almost like that voice was whispering them to her. The whole room feels cold and she feels a sharp pain in the back of her head where it had been hit just days before. Her chest tightens and she shivers, trying not to remember, but it's not working. The memories come even though she tries to fight them back.

Frost was back soon and he could tell something was wrong. "You okay?" He asks softly, sitting in front of her on the bed.

She shakes her head. "Of course not, how could it ever be okay?" She takes a deep breath. "I can't do this anymore. Everything is screwed up and it's not getting any better. I can't pretend that nothing happened but I also can't tell everyone about it." Her head drops into her hands and she tries to stop herself from crying. "This isn't working." He pulls her in and holds her tightly against his body, but he doesn't speak. "I don't think I can have this baby," She says, starting to sob. "I can't. It's just . . . I can't handle this all."

"You know I'm here for you," Frost whispers although he doesn't know how much he would be able to do for her. He can already feel her slipping away from him, but he wishes he could do something. "And you don't have to." She can hear his voice crack, though and that does nothing to make her feel better. She doesn't know what to do. It should be simple, but it isn't. She doesn't want to keep the baby, but at the same time she doesn't want to kill it. She wishes things could be simple like they used to be.

Meanwhile, Katniss and Peeta were both awake already. "What are we going to do about this?" Katniss breathes, trying to suppress the emotions that threaten to overtake her every time she even thinks about her children now. "We can't just keep ignoring this all like nothing is happening. It's not going to fix itself." She thought she had been ready for all that having children would bring. After all, she had been through the Hunger Games and a Rebellion, how hard could kids be?

"I don't know," Peeta says evenly, trying to keep his own emotions in check. "But you're so right. Vin isn't okay and obviously Titan isn't either." But at least they know what's wrong with Titan; Lavinia was still a bit of a mystery. "We need to talk her and figure out what's going on." And they've both known that, but they don't know how they're supposed to start a conversation like that.

"This is why I didn't want to have kids," Katniss sighs. "I knew something bad would happen and they'd be hurt. But I did and look at where that got us." She wants to start yelling, but at the same time, she doesn't have the energy for that. She knows emotion is weakness, just like she knows that recently she's been withdrawing from the real world and she hates it. She hates that she can't be the mother that her children need. She's doing exactly what her mother did to her and her sister. Now she understands that her mother probably had very little control over her emotional state. But Katniss is still trying to be there for her kids, she just doesn't know what to do. "I wish we never had kids, it was doomed from the start."

"You're right, all of this is horrible. Everything that could go wrong has, but things will get better." He says hopefully, although he's having trouble convincing even himself.

Katniss takes a deep breath, "She can't have that baby." She takes Peeta's silence as disagreement although he did agree with it. "She's only sixteen, how could she ever handle that?" What she doesn't mention is that she knows the baby's paternity would make everything even worse. "She needs to finish school and I don't know how she could."

"Katniss, it'll be okay. If anybody here knows things can get better it's us. We've been through the Rebellion and two Hunger Games. Things can get better." But, of course, that doesn't necessarily mean anything _will _get better. "We need to go see if Titan's doing any better." He says, hoping that it isn't too bad, although he can't imagine it could get much worse.

She nods, taking a deep breath, trying to calm herself down although it doesn't do much good. "Yeah, I'm just glad Rory was there. I can't stand to think about what would happen if he hadn't been there." She shakes her head. "How could this happen? I- that last time we talked he seemed normal and then this…" Peeta knew the subject had now switched to Gale.

He sighs, "I don't know. But if I see him again, he will not get away alive." He says and he knows he would do it. Although he never really wants to kill someone, he's mad enough at Gale to kill him. But those thoughts aren't useful right now. Not until he's within range. "We need to go."

Titan wakes up to a dull, throbbing pain all over his body and what he thinks is equivalent to the smell of anesthetics mixed with harsh cleaning products. He's never really been in one, but based on the smell, whiteness of the room, and the machines around him, he guesses it's a hospital. The door to the room is slightly open and he can hear voices from the hallway. He tries to sit up, but when he does, there's a sharp pain in his stomach. When he looks down at it, he can see the long cut in his stomach. He lays back, taking deep breaths to try to figure out what's going on.

When the door opens slightly more and his sister walks in, he can tell by the red in her eyes that she's been crying. "You look like hell." She says softly, approaching him.

"Good morning to you too," he sarcastically, trying not to move because every time he does it just hurts.

"Evening," Lavinia responds, "But that doesn't matter. How are you feeling?" She knows the answer, but she knew she needed to ask and by the look on her brother's face, he isn't going to respond. "Okay, so, you just had your kidney removed and so, um, you know, you have to stay here for . . . up to, you know, a week." She shakes her head, "Are you still bleeding?" She breathes.

Titan rolls his eyes, "Squeamish much?"

She glares at him. "No, I just . . . I'm, um, worried about you. Mom and dad are talking to the doctor." But she honestly doesn't like blood, she never has, and that was weird enough for a girl who came home from practices almost every day during track season with scrapes and cuts from falling and tripping on the rough track. That was different though, those cuts rarely drew much blood and they were always pretty small. The cut on her brother's stomach where they'd performed surgery – which was by far the longest and deepest one she could see – was at least seven or eight inches long and is being held together by staples. She sits in the chair next to her brother, sitting on one of her legs. "Does it hurt a lot?" She asks softly.

He nods, but just barely, "Yes. I'm sorry about everything." He breathes, obviously in pain and Lavinia wishes that she could actually help him.

"Nothing to apologize for," She tells him distractedly, and Titan soon realizes that's because a nurse came in to give him something for the pain. He doesn't catch the name of it, but he doesn't see that at this point it matters. He already feels better as he feels the pain ease.

"Do you need anything else?" The nurse asks warmly.

Titan shakes his head, "No, thank you." Then he looks back to his sister. "Could you get mom and dad?"

Lavinia nods as she gets up and leaves. She waits less than patiently for her parents to stop talking for three seconds before she quickly speaks. "Mom, dad, he's asking for you." They go in with no hesitation and she can hear them talking although she can't make out the words.

"How's he doing?" She partially jumps when she hears Frost speak behind her but recovers quickly.

She takes a deep breath. "I don't know for sure. It seemed like he was in a lot of pain and he looked horrible but he was conscious." And that's plenty to be thankful about, but the fact that happened at all is even scarier. If somebody – Lavinia still didn't know exactly who – hadn't come and saved Titan, he could be dead right now. Still, that doesn't mean the same thing could happen again.

The thought that she could lose someone she loves terrifies her although it had never crossed her mind before she heard about what happened to Titan. And with that thought was the realization that she needs to be so much more careful or she could lose someone, she's already come close enough. Throughout the course of that day, every member of the family had thought something similar to that, and some planned to take action.


	13. Chapter 13

**I'm sorry if this story isn't perfect or if I accidentally go into first person a couple times, but it's late and I want to post this chapter now for reasons that you probably don't care about.**

**Disclaimer: No. As always, I do not in any way shape or form own the Hunger Games.**

**IMPORTANT: If the main character in my story does it, you probably shouldn't.**

**Please read, enjoy, and (please) REVIEW!**

"We can't stay in Twelve." Katniss says softly to Peeta. "It isn't working. Besides, we have no idea how long we're going to have to be here with Titan and anything could happen with Vin. If something goes wrong she could end up hurt. Either of them could end up even more hurt than they already are."

"I know," Peeta says, "But do you think that's best? 'Vinia's been a little off and if we take away everything do you think she'll be okay?"

"Better than she will be if he gets to her again." Katniss says softly. "Moving would be the best thing for us and them, even just temporarily. It'll be hard, but I think it would be less stressful than District Twelve is right now." It may not be certain, but it's as good an idea as any. "We could ask Effie if she could watch them while we take care of all the arrangements and things. It'd give the kids some time to get used to the city and the schools."

Peeta nods, "That is actually a really good idea. Effie _has _been asking to spend more time with them. Should we wait until Titan is released, though?"

Katniss shakes her head. "Even after he's out, he'll probably need to be kept on bed rest for at least a month. They'll probably be able to speed up the healing process, but that doesn't mean he'll be perfect."

"Okay, I'll bring Vinny back for a couple days to get packed and finish everything for now." Peeta says, "We'll take a train tomorrow."

While they spoke, Lavinia was listening through the hotel-room door, her ear pressed against the door, struggling to make out their words. As she hears her father finish the last sentence, she silently gets up and goes back into her room. She doesn't know exactly where Frost is. But she barely notices his absence.

Her fingers trail over the wall towards the bathroom. Lightly, she traces the faults in the stone of the countertop. She doesn't know what to do. Things are getting out of hand and she's beginning to carefully consider killing herself. "At least then I'd know what's wrong with me," she whispers to her reflection in the mirror.

_What _is _wrong with you? _It's the same cat as before but his eyes are a deep grey instead of amber. _You should be dead right now. _The cat sits on the counter in front of the mirror, but it casts no reflection. It looks right at her, _So why are you still alive? _The cat jumps down off the counter and wanders into the main room. Lavinia follows it, perhaps against her better judgment. The cat sits beside her bag on the floor and looks from the front of it to her. _You have your choice. Make it._

She almost doesn't look, but she opens up the front pocket of her backpack and pulls out her pocketknife. She'd only brought in case of a worst-case situation. Her mind is going a mile a minute, but the only thing she pays attention to is the cat's final words. All she wants is an end. This is a means to an end. But does she really want it? Lavinia didn't even really think about any of that before she pulls up her sleeve and drags the knife across her arm, just below her wrist.

She doesn't know whether or not she wants to take the way out or not. She makes another cut, below that one. She's shaking, but that doesn't matter much to her right now. She watches the blood swell to her skin, ruby red. It hurts, but at least she knows why it hurts. She doesn't know why everything else hurts her. On that thought, she pushes harder, letting out a shaky breath as the knife's smooth blade cuts into her skin. Then another cut and she hears footsteps from outside the door. She drops the knife back into her bag and pulls her sleeve down just as Frost comes in.

He meets her gaze and she gets the feeling he knows something's wrong. But would he realize what just happened? And if he did, would he really care? "Hey," She says softly, forcing herself to smile although all she can manage is a small one.

"You okay?" He asks.

"No, as always," She sighs, "I heard my parents saying we're going to be moving to the Capitol as soon as possible by the sounds of it. We're going home tomorrow."

"That makes sense, I guess." Frost says, although he knows that Lavinia moving will mean they won't get to be together. "I mean, it's got to be safer here."

"I know," She whispers, "And it does make perfect sense, but I just . . . I don't want to have to start all over. Not with everything already happening. Besides, what will happen to us? Our relationship hasn't been great recently so what will moving away do to it?"

Frost actually had to think about that one and even then he couldn't tell. "I have no idea. We're just going to have to take this one step at a time unless you want to end it right now."

"Maybe that would be best." She says softly and when she doesn't get a response, she looks up into his eyes and shrugs although it hurts like hell. It feels like she's ripping her own heart out and she hates it but she can't stop now. "I don't think it's going to work out between us. It can't anymore." And she feels like a complete coward and she hates herself for it. She love him and she's told him that and herself that so many times and it's been true every single time. "I love you, Frost, but right now . . . things have changed."

"So after ten years this is how it ends." He whispers to himself. "I should've known. That's what happened between my parents, after all." He takes a deep breath. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Lavinia shakes her head. "I'm not sure of much of anything anymore."

He nods, "I'm going to take the next train home. If you change your mind, call and we'll talk then." Then he grabs his bag and starts toward the door but stops and turns back to her. "And, I love you too, Vin, I always will." Then he really does leave and Lavinia is left wonder why she just did something that stupid.


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry it took a while, but I got distracted with another fic I just started, but I've got this now so here you go! Thank you all for being patient and I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own the Hunger Games, the same thing I've been saying for fourteen chapters now.**

**Please read, enjoy, and REVIEW!**

By the next day at noon, they were home again and the first chance she gets, Lavinia goes next door to Haymitch's house. She still hasn't told her parents about what actually happened. She was just glad her parents hadn't noticed she'd been crying. Even though she knows she should trust her parents completely, she has trouble talking to either of them about pretty much anything. She would ask her mother – that does seem more appropriate, especially if she's asking for love advice - but she had stayed back in the Capitol with Titan to be there in case anything happened and to start looking for somewhere to live and to sort everything out on that end. All of this leads Lavinia to Haymitch's doorstep.

She tries knocking on the door, but when he doesn't answer, she looks beneath the hollow in the concrete beneath the steps, finding the small, metal key there. Without allowing herself to reconsider it, she unlocks the door and pushes it open. Haymitch's house is the same as the other Victor's Village houses, but his doesn't have a phone and most of the upstairs is not being used. She knows a woman – and she thinks she saw a man once, too - comes by to clean his house twice a month, but she doesn't know anything else about it. Whoever it is, though, does a very good job because although he stopped drinking, Haymitch still doesn't seem capable of cleaning up after himself.

The woman is there now. She has the typical look of the people who originate from the Seam area. Even after the Rebellion, citizens from the Seam tended to stay together. Although there were plenty of intermarriages too, those people generally move to a different District. Haymitch came in right about then and sees Lavinia. "Oh, yeah, Posey, this is Lavinia, Katniss's daughter, Vin, that's Posey Hawthorne. She was a friend of your mother's."

That was enough to put Lavinia on edge. And then she started connecting dots and visibly took a step back towards the door. She actually ran into the wall and hit the back of her head, making the cut on the back of it hurt again. Haymitch rolls his eyes. "Oh, come _on, _she's been cleaning up this dump since before you were born. If she wanted to murder you she would have already."

"I know that, I just- uh, I mean, well, you see, there was this cat that warned me about the . . . uh, something about a- something about something and I suck at this." She says, failing to say what she was going to say miserably.

Haymitch looks to Posey, "Her brother is the smart one and the nice one."

Lavinia raises her eyebrows, "But I'm the one who has athletic ability." Then she shakes her head. "That's not what I'm here to talk about. Haymitch, I need some serious help."

He snorts, "What happened now, kid? Did you develop a drinking problem?" She glares at him, trying to stay mad, but she's pretty sure she's about to cry. He sighs, "Why would you come to me for advice on anything? You know I'm not that great a role model."

She closes her eyes, "I just need to talk to somebody and I don't want to talk to mom or dad about it."

Posey, who senses that the other two would probably like to talk alone, goes upstairs to clean the already almost immaculate upper floor. "What's going on, kiddo?"

Lavinia despises the name "kiddo" even more than she does "kid", but she ignores it for now. "I kind of broke up with Frost and now I know that I screwed up and I want to talk to him but I'm afraid he won't accept that." Her voice cracks but she forces herself to keep going, "Things are just so confusing and I barely know what I'm doing and now I'm here. So what do I do now?"

Haymitch sighs, obviously unhappy that he's being used as a relationship advice counselor, but Lavinia figures that he'll get over it. "Alright, kid, this boy stuck by your side even after you told him you were knocked up by some other guy, most wouldn't even stick around for their own kid. If you want my opinion, based on the very little I know about him, I think you two could actually have a chance. If I were you, I'd tell him to wait until this mess is sorted out. It's stressful for both of you and you obviously need time to think this out." He shakes his head, "It's not going to be simple, but if anyone could pull it off it would be you."

When Lavinia only looks at him with a confused look in her light blue eyes, Haymitch continues, "You're just like your mother, kid; if you want something badly enough, you'll get it. You've got the same spark in your eyes that your mother did and she started a Rebellion. All you have to do is talk to a boy who's probably already head over heels in love with you if was planning on helping you raise some other guy's kid."

"Could you stop talking about it?" Lavinia asks evenly. "And I'm not a kid."

"Yes, you are," Haymitch laughs at her angry expression. "You're only sixteen, kiddo; you've got a lot of growing up to do. Especially if you're going to have that baby," He raises his eyebrows, asking a silent question that Lavinia knows the answer to deep in her heart.

"I can't have the baby." She says softly, "When we go up to Capitol, I'm going to tell my mom. I want it gone as soon as possible." Because as soon as the baby inside her is gone, the sooner she can go back to pretending her life is the dream everyone else thinks it is. No matter how many fake smiles it'll take, she's willing to do it to get her old life back. Maybe she'll know it's not normal, but it could seem normal. It could so easily look normal to the other kids in her grade. But she can't help but ask herself if she really has the heart to kill it. She knows she screwed up and that now she should accept the results, but she just can't.

Haymitch watches her carefully, assessing her. "What's going on?"

At first, she considers not telling him, but she knows trying to withhold information from Haymitch was pointless. He was surprisingly persistent. Before she knows it, she's telling him all about the shadows and the cats and the voices and he stays silent while she tells her miserably hard-to-follow story, leaving out a lot that made it even more confusing. He nods slowly, "Well that doesn't sound good." He says, "But I've heard of things like this before. Of course, the only cases I've actually seen were in soldiers and victors." He takes a deep breath, "If you want, I could talk to your dad about that."

Lavinia nods, "Thank you," She whispers, "I appreciate your advice. I have to go. My dad's probably wondering where I am." And with that, she leaves, not giving Haymitch the chance to respond. The rest of the day was spent packing for Lavinia and her father, but something nobody expected happened.

It was about four or five in the afternoon when the telephone rings. Peeta answers it and the person on the other line introduces herself - without much emotion – as the President and nothing more. "Mr. Mellark, I am calling to inform you that on the twenty-third of March, the 76th Annual Hunger Games Reaping will take place."

"What?" He asks, unwilling to believe what he's being told. "Who's working with you?" Lavinia, who has absolutely no idea what's going on, can feel her father's tension.

"As you know, there are multiple Gamemakers. The information of who they are, of course, will remain a mystery until after the Reaping. This person also had the brilliant idea of reattempting our last Quarter Quell. Do you know what that means, Mr. Mellark?" The voice on the other side of the phone asks.

Peeta closes his eyes and speaks softly. "Yes, I do understand." It means that Katniss and, very likely, he will be going back into the Arena for a third time. "Now, if you don't mind, I would like to call my wife to give her this . . . news."

The President clears her throat, "Just remember that, should anything happen to either of you, we could take one of your children instead." And then it goes dead.

"Who was that?" Lavinia asks immediately, although she wants to know more than just who that was.

"The President," He tells her in the same perfectly calm, rational voice that tells her something is extremely wrong. "Vinny, you remember that Hunger Games from school, right?" She nods. They hadn't covered it in depth, but she knew about the rules and the Capitol's motivations behind it. She only knows about her parents' Games because they had started the Rebellion. They also studied the Quells further than most other Games, that meant she also knew about Haymitch's Games, but she was never good at remembering facts. By now she's forgotten most of the details. "This year – the twenty-third of March is the Reaping - they're starting the Games again and they're going to use the twist from the previous Quell." Then he waits for his daughter to get it, which she does almost immediately, and that _does _surprise him a bit.

"They can't," She hisses, shaking her head. "That isn't . . ." – she was going to say it isn't _fair _but if she's learned one thing over the past two weeks it was the world is definitely not fair – "It's not a Quell."

"I know," Peeta says softly as Lavinia hugs him tightly. "But it'll be okay." At least he knows his children aren't going to be going into the Arena. But Katniss will and he knows that she has to be the one to live if it were between them. And one of them has to win, especially with the kids here.

Lavinia knows her father is lying. Nothing will be okay. Both her parents could end up dead before summer. They only have about two and a half months left until March twenty-third. And that isn't a lot of time. It could never be enough. It's almost worse this way instead of as a surprise, because now the clock is ticking and each minute feels like a second.


	15. Chapter 15

**I am super sorry, I really am. It's been, like, two weeks since my last update and that was terrible of me. But between Writer's Block (Or just too many directions this thing could go in) and extracurricular activities, I've been super busy. Thankfully, though, schools over in about a month and a half so I'll have plenty of time then.**

**Anyway, to make it up to you, this is my longest chapter yet!**

**Oh yeah, I don't own the Hunger Games or anything like that, as you've probably figured out by now.**

**So, without further ado, please read, review, and enjoy! Please, please, PLEASE REVIEW!  
**

The next day, Lavinia almost doesn't go to school. She wouldn't have, but she knows she needs to talk to Frost and the only way she can see that would happen would be if she goes. Of course, that means she has to wait until lunch to actually have time to talk. It would be pointless to try to actually get across a point in three seconds, at least for her it is. Her first hour teacher is Mr. Hartford who she has for both first and second hours for Language Arts Reading and Writing, both of which she despises.

As soon as she's in class, Kathrynne Tinker – a spoiled, blonde, brat – sits in the desk next to her. "Is it true?" She whispers almost excitedly and Lavinia gives her a weird look.

Lavinia shakes her head, running her fingers back through her head. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Kat." She says. Although she could guess, she knows the best thing to do with this kind of thing is to play dumb. Then they don't have any more information. "Please, elaborate," Of course, saying that was pointless because Kathrynne was already speaking.

"Gloria Chesterfield told me you're pregnant." She says in a soft, but extremely excited whisper. Lavinia hates girls who say things like that. But how would she find out? Lavinia actually doubts that Gloria knows. More likely is that Gloria is trying to get back at Lavinia from when she had told Gloria's now-ex-boyfriend – Drew - that she was cheating on him. And she had been cheating on Drew, with his older brother, nonetheless.

She rolls her eyes. "Do you know why I love gossip, Kitty?" She asks with a dark tone that Kat had barely picked up. When Kathrynne shakes her head Lavinia continues, "I learn so much about myself that I never knew before."

Kathrynne takes a moment to consider it carefully, trying to figure out what Lavinia is say - whether she's confirming or denying the accusation. "So . . . you . . . aren't pregnant?"

Lavinia, who by this time is more than a little pissed off, sighs and sits back in her seat, unwilling to dignify Kathrynne's question with a response. After a long three minutes, the teacher moves to the front of the room and begins teaching the long, boring class before making them read them read some old book for the second hour. He won't let anyone talk, but that doesn't stop some people from whispering their stupid little stories about Lavinia under their breath. She can hear her name multiple times, but she doesn't try to listen. She doesn't want to hear what they're saying about her no matter how stupid it might be. Instead, she actually reads the book, trying to loose herself in the story.

It's hard to concentrate, especially when she's got no idea what characters are saying. Instead, she thinks about how she could approach Frost. She knows she can't just walk up to him, apologize, and ask him to wait until everything's settled down. It's much more complicated than that. So much more that she has no idea what she's going to say. Normally she can at least think about basically what she'll say, but she can't.

Lost in thought, she barely notices when the bell rings. She ignores it because she is going to be in the class another hour and there's no real point in getting up. It's only five minutes, anyway, there's nothing great you can do in five minutes. Although in the past, she'd used the time to do stupid stuff that would most likely get her in trouble if she were caught. But she was only caught a couple times. Once in eighth when she put 'out of order' signs on all the stalls in every girl's bathroom in the Junior High section of the school, the second time was when Amber dared her to kiss some boy in the third grade. That was back when she thought boys were gross, but she wanted ten dollars because of trivial reasons she can't remember now. As embarrassing as some of the stuff she did is, she'd rather keep doing embarrassing things than be in her current situation.

The next hour is a long test that the teacher says they have known about for three weeks although most of the class had no idea what he was talking about. It's also on the first act of the play they're reading. At least the questions are multiple choice – or, as her science teacher calls them, multiple guess. She carefully reads the first question and promptly guesses A for that one. She guesses A for anything she has no clue on. Sometimes it works, most of the time she gets a D or a C. After that, of course, are the calls home from the worried teachers and the school counselor (who is also Frost's mom). They always say the same thing. _"If you'd just _apply _yourself a little more, you'd be brilliant." _Or, even better, _"Your grades on your standardized tests are amazing, higher than sixty percent of the country, so why are you getting Ds and Cs?" _And what does she say to this?Exactly what they want her to say, _"I'll try harder." _But it's not like she'll ever be as good as Titan, so why try? He's the one who's destined to go to college. She figures she could just take over the bakery. Somebody will have to do it.

Shaking her head to clear away the thoughts, she moves onto the next question, guessing A again and moving on to the next. For the next three, she guesses A. Then she reaches number 7, a question she thinks she knows, although she's not sure. Still, she writes the answer as D. The rest are just as mysterious and she answers all of those as A, finishing the test before writing her name at the top. She knows she failed, but she can't think about grades right now because other things were on her mind. Things she doesn't want to think about. Mostly the threat of both Hawthorne and the Hunger Games, and she believes that they're legitimate fears.

Not that legitimacy matters much when it comes to fear. You're either afraid or not, and she is most definitely afraid. And although she would never admit it to even herself, she felt a growing fear of the thing inside her. She knows she needs to get an abortion. She can't have a baby. Especially not this one, even if it would be innocent and if it might be nothing like its father, she just can't

Without thinking she gets up and turns in her test. The teacher glares at her as she pulls out her red pen, promptly marking most every question wrong while Lavinia goes back to her seat as half the class gets up and turn in their papers. The last twenty minutes were slow and boring, but they eventually passed.

By fourth hour, there was already something new for the students to focus on. Some students were talking about how there's going to be another Hunger Games, that they're sure of. But the rumors are that the Victors are going into the Arena. Of course Lavinia knows that it's true, but she doesn't want to say anything. Before fifth hour History starts, she finds Frost. Although it seems more like he found her. "Is it true?" He asks softly.

"You know, that's the second time today I've been asked that." She says dryly, working at the combination on her locker. She tries the handle, but it sticks and she kicks it to get it to open, suddenly much angrier than she was seconds ago, "All these rumors going around are just _brilliant._ Now tell me, Frost," She looks him dead in the eyes. "How could they figure out that I'm pregnant? That's been bothering me all day."

"It wasn't me," He says softly, "I swear, I didn't say anything. But you know how it is here, Vin. If one person overhears something, the whole town knows about it the next day. What if it was Titan?"

That made her pause. He could've told his friend. And if he told his friend . . . Lavinia slams her head into the locker next to hers. "I should've seen it coming. He couldn't keep a secret to save his life." She pulls back from the row of lockers and runs her fingers back through her hair.

"Listen, Vin, I actually wanted to ask you about if you knew if it was true that the Games were starting again." He says.

"It is," She tells him, "My dad got a call last night from the President and . . . and they're drawing from the previous Victors." She bites her bottom lip hard as her vision gets blurry from the tears she's trying to hold back. "I'm sorry about everything, okay? I- I didn't mean any of that."

"That's okay," He says gently, "You've got things you need to work out. Take whatever time you need."

"Thank you," Lavinia whispers just as the warning bell rings.

Frost looks up to the ceiling, like he's searching for the source of the sound. "I have to get to math. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay," She says, shutting her locker door and twisting the lock a couple times as Frost goes up the stairs to his next class.

_"He doesn't want you," _It's the voice again. And there the shadow is, against the lockers. _"He's only going to lead you on." _It tells me.

"What do you think you're doing?" She hisses at the voice as she begins to go downstairs to the cafeteria.

_"You're angry with me, aren't you?" _The voice asks softly, _"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to anger you. It's okay." _She gets to class quickly and takes her seat in the back of the room. _"There's no reason to be angry. But I'm right. It's the same with your friends. They're going to leave you, Fox, everybody does eventually." _Fox? Only her brother has ever called her Fox. It's somehow comforting though. It feels almost like somebody she knows well is speaking to her.

It's funny what a name can do.

The teacher is going on about something having to do with a war a couple centuries ago and most of the students are asleep, but then he mentions that the Hunger Games are starting again. This, of course, isn't news to any kid in the class who has access to the latest bit of gossip, but every kid in the room acts like its new information. Probably to stop him from continuing his lecture on a war we'll probably never need to know about. After a minute of the teacher reviewing the rules for the Games, Kathrynne Rider - a mean Merchant girl – speaks up, "My mom said Victors were going in because they didn't obey the rules last time. She also said that District One is going to win."

Her voice growls wordlessly in the back of her head and she can see the cat from before digging its teeth into Kathrynne's throat as her blood runs down its matted fur and pools on the desk in front of her. She shivers subconsciously and tries to fight the image away by closing her eyes and counting to twenty. Ten seems to be too small of a number for her right now, after all, but it still doesn't go away. For the rest of History, she listens to the voice rant about what a terrible, horrible person Kathrynne is and how people like her shouldn't exist. The small cat jumps from desk to desk, observing the goings-on in the classroom through steely amber eyes that seem to grow crimson as Lavinia feels the anger pulsing through the cat's veins grow. The emotion almost seemed to be part of her, as if she were one with the cat.

For the rest of the day, the cat's presence never leaves. It follows her through the hallways and to her classes, but nobody else can see it. The only word she could think of to describe the look on the cat's face – or, rather, in its eyes – is demonic. And maybe it is a demon that has been ordered to haunt her every step until she finally gives in and kills herself.

She believes that she will, she really, truly does. The stress is starting to get to her and its making it hard to focus. Of course, Lavinia doesn't doubt that she needs help, but her pride won't let her ask for it or even completely admit that she needs it. But who knows how long pride will hold up? It could be a matter of days or weeks or months before she falls apart completely. And what happens when she does eventually give up? Will he finally kill her or will he just torture her?

And what if he knew she was pregnant? What would he do if he knew there was proof of what had happened? He would be even more inclined to kill her then. The cat's answer to this was simple, _"If there is no baby, how could he know about it? Get the abortion. Live another day." _And she wants to take the cat's advice because, as scary as it is, the cat's logic is sound. If there's no baby, how could Hawthorne know about it if she gets rid of the baby?

Yes, it's slightly flawed, but it's possible and possibility can be equivalent to hope. But hope hasn't been helping lately. It gets in the way of logic and fact. Emotion is weakness. So maybe if emotion went away, everything would be clearer. Although she doesn't know why, it makes sense. But why does anything have to make sense? Life doesn't and most other things don't.

_"Very few things make sense." _The cat walks alongside Lavinia as she goes home. _"For example, how do you see me when nobody else can?"_

"Because I'm going insane," Lavinia mutters to herself, catching a glimpse of a small girl – she's probably eight or nine – runs off to a boy who appears to be a couple years older - maybe her big brother or maybe a friend. She appears to be showing him something she found in the grass. Lavinia wishes she could be little again. Back then all she had to worry about was how she was going to fill up the endless hours of the day with only her brother to keep her company.

She reaches the house quickly and as she's sitting at the coffee table in the living room to do her homework, her father comes into the room. "So, how was your day?" He asks, nervous about something Lavinia couldn't detect.

Lavinia sighs, "What do you need to tell me?"

He doesn't speak for a minutes and she goes back to her homework, giving him time to figure out what to say. She was already on question six out of ten when he finally spoke. "We're moving tomorrow, you mother also wanted to talk to you about . . . something. She didn't say what."

She takes a deep breath and counts to ten slowly in her head before she lets it out slowly. "What time?"

"Five tomorrow evening," He says, and she leaves, trying to figure out how she'd have time to talk to her friends and actually tell them she's leaving. Whatever she does, she knows it'll be difficult. Not that she's been talking to them a whole lot recently. She's more worried about Frost. She really does still care for him, but now isn't a good time for her to be thinking about those kinds of this.

It all feels hopeless. The chances of her getting back to District Twelve are low. It makes her want to die and throw up at the same time. She goes back up to her room and for the longest time she tries not to give in to the severe urge to dig a knife into her arm again. But after half an hour, she gives in and watches blood well up from the four new cuts with distant blue eyes.


	16. Chapter 16

**I know the last chapter wasn't great, but I needed to post something. Here's another that I personally think is a lot more interesting. Thank you so much for reading, it really means a lot to me. I would appreciate it if you'd review and tell me whether you like chapters like this one or the last one because right now I'm kind of just guessing.**

**Disclaimer: Just like I said in the last fifteen chapters, I do not in any way, shape, or form own the Hunger Games or any of the locations and characters that appeared in the Hunger Games Trilogy.**

**Please read, enjoy, and review!**

In the end, Lavinia didn't have any time to talk to anyone. Or maybe it wasn't that she didn't have time, but that she was too afraid to talk to them and tell her best friends. But they aren't best friends anymore. Maybe they never were best friends. It is, after all, just a title that one person attaches to another to rate them over their other friends. But maybe she's just being bitter over the loss of her own.

But whether she's bitter or not did nothing to change the fact that she's in a Capitol train and will be in the Capitol in about an hour with the most annoying person she can think of. Her 'aunt' Effie maybe be kind and have the best intentions, but she still so irritatingly _Capitol. _And soon Lavinia's going to be put in school with a bunch of kids who are probably just like her not-actually-related-to-her aunt. But maybe they're not. Maybe they're like the kids at her school and are for the most part nice.

On the way there, she blocks out the sounds around her and reads the book she had failed the test on a couple days before. It was slow at first, and just as she was getting to a good part, the train stops in the Capitol. Effie Trinket was there at the train station already. She speaks fast in her high-pitched, Capitol voice. It seems to Lavinia that the violet-haired woman doesn't even stop to take a breath in between sentences. Then, after ten minutes in a car, there's a pause and Lavinia's sure that she was just asked a question. Effie seems to realize this and repeats the question. "How are you doing, Lavinia?"

That question alone confused Lavinia. But then she realized Effie probably doesn't know about the disaster that is Lavinia's life. "I'm fine." She lies, forcing herself to smile, "Perfectly, undoubtedly, positively fine. Unicorns and fairies and rainbows and all happy things make up my wonderful life."

Peeta knows it's a lie. How could he not? But Effie doesn't yet have the capacity to handle the huge and terrible truth. Effie nods slowly. "Well, that's lovely," She says, pretending to understand what Lavinia just said. "Well, you're going to love the school. My friend's granddaughter goes there. The girls name is Celeste Umbrage and she's in your year. I'm sure you two will be friends in no time. Maybe we'll invite her over before you start school so you'll have some friends for your first day of school, then."

Lavinia stays silent. She doesn't want to make any new friends. She just wants to get everything she's got right now settled before she goes and finds new trouble. And a new school means new bullies and new popular girls, and a new start. And a new start means she'll need to build a new reputation in a town where only the super-rich are accepted. At least, that's what she heard from the one girl whose parents moved to District Twelve from the Capitol.

As stupid as it is, she's nervous. Not that she'd ever admit it to anyone except maybe Frost or Titan. But maybe now, for the first time she can remember, Frost wouldn't be a choice. And her little brother is still recovering from his surgery. Then there's the possibility that he betrayed her to the meanest girl in school. That leaves nobody she can talk to.

The cat appears in the seat beside her and grins an extremely creepy grin at her. _"You always have me," _It purrs. _"You can always talk to me." _She tries to ignore it, but it nudges at her arm, trying to get her attention. _"Come on, you need someone. I'm always here to give you advice. You'll need it, won't you? You don't know what to do. You're still debating about whether you want that abortion or not. You need to do it." _The cat's face contorts into a kind of a smirk, _"How could you ever take care of a baby? You'd probably end up miscarrying anyway, and _that _would be embarrassing. I know you deny that's what you were thinking. But it was there. You need to do everything better than everyone else. You can't do this. That embarrasses you. You want to get rid of it. So do it. Nobody's going to stop you. Your parents don't want another kid running around the house."_

Then he disappears as they reach Effie's huge house. She shows me where the room I'm staying in is. Effie leaves to let her unpack her single backpack. In the end, she just shoves it beneath the bed and goes out into the main house to start exploring the place she's now staying. For the first couple minutes, all she finds are mostly-empty rooms, bathrooms, a kitchen, and a sitting room. But she soon finds another room. It has pictures all over the walls and books on stands with all kinds of things.

Lavinia doesn't know why, but she gets the idea that she's not supposed to be in the room. The pictures are of a bunch of kids, all in similar outfits and all teenagers. Twenty four are hung on one wall and at the end of the room are two large images – possibly paintings – of woods and a lake and something else; a golden horn that stands slightly to the left of the center of the painting. The name that comes to her is 'Cornucopia'. The books on the shelf all look frighteningly ominous. But one that's titled 'The Hunger Games: A True Story' catches her eye. It's supposedly an autobiography in which the names have been changed. She opens it hesitantly, sitting in front of the bookshelf as she opens it and begins reading.

It's about a girl her age that was put into the Arena and her story about the horror of the Games and the Mockingjay Rebellion. Lavinia couldn't stop reading. When she was about three chapters in, she snuck the book back to her room to continue reading. Within two hours though, there was a soft knock on her door and she shoved the leather-bound book beneath her pillow as her mother stepped in. "Hey, Vin, how are you doing?"

"What's your point?" Lavinia asks, wanting to get back to the book but unwilling to say she's reading for her own enjoyment.

"I talked to Haymitch." She says and Lavinia knows that means that Haymitch told her everything.

Lavinia takes a deep breath. "I can't have a baby. I'm only sixteen years old." She closes her eyes tightly and takes another deep breath, thinking about how hard it is to tell such a simple thing to her mother. "I need to get an abortion."

Katniss nods, she had expected it, after all. "I can call and get you an appointment."

"As soon as possible," Lavinia says, hoping that the sooner it happens, the less other people will be hurt, "Please. I can't take this anymore."

"I'll call tonight," Katniss promises. "Everything's going to be okay."

_That's easy for you to say, _Lavinia wants to tell her mother, but instead forces a smile. "I know, thank you so much." She pauses, hesitates, and carefully considers not saying anything else, but before she can stop herself, she speaks. "I'm sorry about all this." And she really was, even if she knew she probably sounded like she was looking for attention, she wishes she could take everything back and stop it all from happening. It had occurred to her many times before that if she'd just stayed home, none of it would have happened. There would be no problems and she'd still be in her old life. That old life feels so far away now.

"Lavinia, it's not your fault." Her mother says reassuringly, but it does nothing to help Lavinia.

"Have you ever thought that maybe you were destined to do something?" She asks softly, "Like how you and dad helped take down the Hunger Games in the Rebellion? Maybe you guys were destined for that, maybe everything in our lives is preplanned and set out for us to follow. That is what I believed for a little while, after all. Whatever you want to say about it, it's obvious nobody has very big expectations of me."

"Vin," Katniss sighs, considering her daughter's words. "Maybe this is all meant to make you stronger. It's not going to be easy. There are going to be terrible choices for you to make where it seems you lose either way. This is your version of the Hunger Games, Vin, everybody has one. No matter who you are or where you come from, you have to remember that. For some people the battle is easier than it is for others, but for some it's terrible. I think you're strong enough to work through this. I'm not saying in any way that it'll be easy or that you'll get over it and never think about it again, but you need to continue on with your life."

She takes a deep breath and thinks about it carefully before continuing. "And, before I go, you'd better not even think about killing yourself. I didn't spend fifteen hours giving birth to you to watch you kill yourself. I kind of understand how you feel, but I promise it will get better." And Lavinia hopes that her mother is right. "I need to go talk to Effie about something, just remember, dinner's in" – she checks the alarm clock by the bed for the time – "Five minutes. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you." Then she leaves and it feels to Lavinia that her mother had never actually been there.

Motivational or not, her mother's speech meant next to nothing to Lavinia. The way she saw it, the whole thing was pointless. They were all things Lavinia already knew and it all sounded so fake and so . . . rehearsed. Just then she notices the cat who sat on top of the dresser, right next to the open door. _"Well, that was lovely." _The cat says emotionlessly.

"She meant well," Lavinia whispers as the cat stretches out on top of the dresser.

_"You don't really believe that." _The cat informs her. And it's the truth. Lavinia _doesn't _believe that her mother means the best. She only wants to assure herself that her daughter won't ruin the family's image before the Games to get more sponsors. _"She's being selfish. She doesn't really care about you, only about the attention and the cameras. If she goes into the Games again, she'll have no use for you." _The cat jumps across the room and onto the foot of her bed. _"Wouldn't be better not to give her the satisfaction of the cameras? Or, even better, make the only attention they give her . . . what's the word? Post-mortem, maybe?"_

It takes a minute for Lavinia to understand what the cat is suggestion, but once she does, she shakes her head vigorously. "I'd never hurt her," She says, swallowing hard.

The cat grins its creepy grin. _"Oh, but my dear, sweet Fox, that's what you say now, but your mind will change. Come now, don't you tell me you've never thought about it? That you've never thought about taking a knife and just slitting someone's throat? Or maybe hanging them?" _The cat continues while Lavinia covers her ears, attempting to shut out the voice at it goes into a description of how she could kill her own mother. But covering her ears does nothing to muffle the voice of the cat _"It could be so easy. All it would take is a knife. But I would prefer something a little more slowly. You need to make her feel the pain you did when she wouldn't believe you."_

"Not real, this can't be real, it's not real," She softly chants to herself, closing her eyes as her mother – it couldn't be her, it's not real, not real, and it can't ever be real – appears on the floor, a knife buried to the hilt in her stomach and blood pooling beneath her. Even with her eyes closed, Lavinia can see it. Her mother's grey eyes pleading for mercy, "Oh, please, God, no, please let it not be real." Lavinia whispers to whatever deity might be able to hear her quiet prayer as hot tears roll down her cheeks.

_"Or maybe something else would be better suited for us?" _Another image flashed before Lavinia's eyes. Her mother bound with half of the skin on her face ripped off. It didn't stay still though and soon more skin was being cut off by hands that looked like Lavinia's. It stopped eventually and by the time it did, Lavinia was sobbing hysterically. Still, the cat did not relent. _"You could cut her up piece by piece and feed her flesh to the forest creatures." _The voice whispers, displaying a corresponding image that made Lavinia heave. If there had been anything previously in her stomach, she would have vomited. And what a shame that would have been for the snow-white comforter on the bed. She could feel herself shaking and felt like she was about to scream as she watched as an illusion of herself took a knife to her own mother's flesh.

"Stop, please," Lavinia whispers, "Please stop."

_"Or even this." _An image of her mother tied up as a knife cut a vertical line into her stomach before making another below her ribs and Lavinia was forced to watch as bloody organs fell to the ground at her mother's feet, she could almost feel the blood on her own hands as intestines fell through the illusion's fingers. She can do nothing but tell herself, over and over again, that none of it is real. _"Fox, someday you'll understand and someday you'll decide. It's her or you." _The images relent and Lavinia realizes that she's covered with a cold sweat and that almost half an hour has passed.

She doesn't have the strength to get up and pretend nothing happened so she curls up into a fetal position on the bed and buries her face into the nearest pillow. Within seconds, she becomes aware of fur brushing her back. The devil cat is still there and she doesn't know how to get rid of it, but she would do anything to rid herself of it.

That whole night, she lies awake, knowing that as long as the cat was there, she wouldn't get to sleep. But she had to give in some time and she hadn't been sleeping much on other nights either. Between her emotional exhaustion and lack of previous sleep, she managed to fall asleep which, although restless was well needed.

But even that night the nightmares were far more vivid than they ever had been before. This time is wasn't her who died; it was her mother who died slowly and painfully. And Lavinia was the one killing her. She tried to resist it, but she wasn't really there, she couldn't control her own movements. There were two different kinds of knives in her hands. One a plain, smooth-bladed kitchen knife and in her other hand was a kind of knife she had no name for, but it's cruel, curved blade told a tale of terrible things.

She watched through the murderess's eyes as she cute a pattern into her mother's skin, blood welling up again white skin over her stomach. Then the other knife was taken out, the flesh was cut off, detached from the muscle that had been beneath it. Her mother screamed. Or was it Lavinia? She couldn't tell as the sound seemed to echo off of cold, metal walls. It goes on for a long time or what feels like a long time to Lavinia. When it's done, the pattern on her mother's stomach was easy to decipher. It was the Mockingjay pin.

As the dream faded to black, she heard a voice whispering softly, only three words although they terrified Lavinia: "He's getting closer."


	17. Chapter 17

**I am so, so sorry that this is late, but I've been writing fanfiction for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, too, and I'm also in the middle of some pretty time-consuming stuff. But now it's summer break and I have A LOT of time on my hands. I can't promise anything, but hopefully I'll be able to post more often.**

**Also, I hope you all will bare with me, the next chapter (or two) are probably going to be development, but them we should be getting to the good parts. In this chapter, I'm sorry for not going all super-detaily (or even minor-dataily) for certain scenes that you'll know when you find. I'll make up for it in a chapter or so, Pinkie Promise.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own Hunger Games. Sorry to anybody who's disappointed.**

**As always, read and review!**

Lavinia wakes up to someone knocking on the door to the room, it startles her at first, but when she realizes it's just the door, she lets out the breath she was holding. "Lavinia, do you want breakfast?" Relief washes over Lavinia when she realizes it's just her father.

"Yes," She says shakily, "I'll be there in a couple minutes." But she doesn't really think she could eat even if she tried. The images from her dream and the hallucinations refuse to leave her mind no matter how much she tries to get rid of them. She can feel her stomach twist, making her heave. It feels like forever before it stops and even then, she feels weak, as if she couldn't move even if she tried.

When she looks at the clock, it reads eight twelve. Not as late as she thought it might have been. She takes a deep breath and runs her fingers through her knotty hair. Lavinia forces herself up and, after brushing her hair and teeth, goes out to the kitchen to see what was going on. Just as she exited the room, she was aware of the cat. It must've appeared as she exited the room. She knows it hadn't been there before.

The cat sat in the doorway as Lavinia continues toward the kitchen, tying to ignore the presence of the emaciated cat. _"They're going to kill you if he doesn't. They'll cut you up and eat you like an animal." _The cat says, leaping closer before falling in step with Lavinia. _"You'll be dead within days if you don't kill them."_

She tries to ignore it, but again it brings up images of her, dead in many different ways, each one bloodier than the last. As she entered the kitchen, it let up slightly, but the cat was still there in the back of her mind, whispering for her to kill them. It urges her on with a voice that borders on seductive. But she refuses to fall for it. She ate breakfast in near silence, listening as the conversation between her father and Effie and her mother went on. Although the conversation was mostly idle chit-chat, she did catch that her brother was set to be released that Sunday, which was just four days away, including that day.

That makes her feel slightly better. She feels that she can trust her brother. Even though she has no idea why, she still trusts him through all that has happened. She can't wait to be able to actually talk to him again. But the cat whispers in her ear again. _"He's the one who told the whole school that you're pregnant. It's his fault. You should get your revenge soon. You could cut him open and show him his still-beating heart just before he dies. You could tear out his stomach and intestines." _She closes her eyes tightly and presses the heels of her palms into her temples, trying to fight it all away as it showed her something resembling a clip of her slowly removing organs from her unconscious brother. _"Of course, there are ways to keep him awake." _And suddenly, she felt the blood and slippery organs in her own hands, smelling the scents that all contributed to the smell she could only describe as that of death.

"Get out of my head," She hisses under her breath. With that, she could feel the focus of the room drawn to her. Effie was still perfectly clueless. Katniss and Peeta did, however know that Lavinia had been suffering from some form of hallucinations, but they hadn't seemed as bad as they did now. "Get it out!" Lavinia screamed this time, her head hitting the table with a loud _thump. _Her fingernails dig into her scalp as she tries to fight the Cat for control of her own mind.

"It's not real," She hears a soft, disjointed voice say. She feels someone touch her back and she tenses automatically. Her eyes open and she pulls back. Her world turns around her, spinning slowly, making it hard to move, so she waits. It relents faster than she thought it would. The cat doesn't seem overall dependable. Lavinia's breathing begins to slow as she forces herself to remember that it's not real. But it's difficult and with each time it's getting worse. When she looks up, her mother hands her a glass of water. "You okay?"

Lavinia nods shakily. There's no way she'd ever tell her mom about these visions. "Yeah, fine."

"You want to talk about it?" That came from her father.

"No," She says sharply, and then laughs awkwardly, trying to brush it off as a joke. "No, it's okay; just confusing."

_"Good girl," _The Cat says warmly. _"I think you're really coming along. Just listen to me."_ The Cat's voice was actually soothing. _"We'll make our move soon. I've obviously been too hard on you. I'll be back to tell you what to do before long, when the time is right." _ Then it disappears before her eyes.

Lavinia blocks out the rest of the talking, instead she actually tries to get the Cat back. It would know what to do. She needs guidance from someone who hasn't betrayed her yet. The Cat is her only option. But no matter how much she hopes, the Cat doesn't appear. The rest of the day goes by quickly for the most part. But about mid-day her mother tells her that she had gotten an appointment for the next day. The most surprising thing about this was that Lavinia actually didn't care. Actually, that would be a lie. She does care, but not in the sense that most people would believe. Lavinia is just relieved that within one day's time, it'll be gone and she won't have to worry about that particular problem.

But that still leaves the others. What will she do about her little brother's betrayal or her mother's unwillingness to believe that she was, in fact, telling the truth? How will she solve the problem of the asshole still somewhere, ready to kill her at any second? And what about the other kids who had helped tell the whole school of these . . . unfortunate affairs? Then there was the biggest problem in her mind. What will she do about Frost?

Thoughts she hadn't believed she was capable of surfaced. Her subconscious mind had been formulating simple yet beautiful ways of getting rid of each of those issues. But not right away, of course. She knows that when planning revenge, one must be careful and patient. Besides, she's got to get everything set up for her plans first.

How would she do that anyway? So many things would be impossible to get. She'll just have to work with what she has.

The very next day, on the drive home from the abortion clinic, she's perfectly silent. Although there's a definite pain in her gut, she finds it's relatively easy to ignore if she uses the time to consider what's going to happen next. If she could just get that stupid Cat to talk to her again, maybe he'd have an idea of how she could pull it off.

Suddenly, she realizes what she's thinking and shakes her head unconsciously, clearing those thoughts. What was she thinking? She could never hurt these people, no matter what happens. She's just stressed out; it's a combination of moving, a new school, new people, her brother's surgery, and the abortion. Soon, it'll all settle down and she'll be back to normal. It sounds so simple in her mind, but, in reality, she knows that it's going to me more difficult. But it gives her something to look forward to because maybe then that horror of a cat will leave her alone.


	18. IMPORTANT

**Well, this is embarrassing . . .**

**Turns out that I actually forgot about this fanfiction for a couple weeks or a month or some freakishly long time frame and the only reason I actually noticed it again was because I was going through and deleting all my trash stories. Anyway, I read it over and I realized just how . . . Mary Sue-ish all the characters feel and how virtually everything in it is a noticeable Plot Device.**

**To make a long story short, the only character I care about in this whole thing is the Cat and I'm putting this on permanent hiatus. Reviews are still welcome and loved.**

**And since they don't allow author's note chapters or script chapters, let's break two rules in one. Without further ado: here's . . . whatever this is.**

Character 1: Who writes this crap?

Character 2: Huh?

Character 1: I mean, seriously. This was super OOC for all of us.

Character 2: We're pretty much all OCs.

Character 1: And absolutely none of us have steady personalities.

Character 2: . . . point taken . . .

Character 1: And it's not even limited to us as characters. I have the feeling that whoever created this was just some weirdo with an internet connection and the ability to form coherent sentences.

Character 2: Sometimes they aren't even coherent . . .

Character 1: It's almost like the goal of this thing was to make it a gore-fic but the author realized they're a talentless freak before they even hit fifteen chapters only to try and crap out a couple more before giving up and writing My Little Pony fanfiction.

Character 2: How much do you want to bet half the cast would've been dead by the time it would've been over.

Character 1: . . . I wouldn't even bet against it . . .

Character 2: And the killer would no-doubt have ended up being the main character.

Character 1: Interesting . . . so THIS is why nobody ever tries adding plot to gore-fics . . .


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